I did it.

I BEAT CORY AT SCRABBLE!

See? 

Just in case you can't make it out- that is a score of 368 to 346.  Oh, and that 368?  The WINNING score?  It happens to be mine!

FINALLY!

Oh, guess what else I did?

I finally figured out that I am indeed pregnant, and that yes- you can tell.

See?

Look. At. That.

Oh my god- at 11 weeks.  ELEVEN WEEKS!

And I already look like a whale.  A big flowery orange whale.

Sorry about the picture.  You see, I am not a teenager, so I have yet to master the art of "Myspace poses".

So there you have it.  Now lets see how long before I snap out of it and take this horrible picture down!

XOXO,

The Ever Expanding J.Danger

Ok. So...welllll.....

I feel like I only blog now to make excuses.  Sorry I am so lame, BUT......I know I have been M.I.A, BUT.....I know I am large and in charge now, BUT.....

BUT.....this post will be different.

In the sense that there will be an overabundance of excuses.  As opposed to just one measly little excuse.

Poor little Oliver has been sick since Wednesday.  He has had an unbreakable fever for days, and a hacking cough, snotty bloody nose, you name it.  So I know I have been M.I.A, BUT the baby was sick so what's a gal to do?

The whole week I have had this irresistible urge to bake bake bake!  I have tried to contain myself though, because my dear husband is in a Biggest Loser Group and he is up to profit $600 hundred bucks here folks.  Now, I know that none of my measly little ole' modest baked goods are worth $600, BUT that was all I could stand, I can't stand me no more! So yesterday when I finally got the baby down I decided to make a big dinner AND to bake something.  ANYTHING.

One plate of steak, double baked stuffed red potatoes, and a green vegetable salad that would make your mama proud, I found myself feeding my poor starving for $600 husband a gorgeous Yogurt Marmalade Cake.

BUT...

he freaking loved it!

The recipe is from the lovely Pioneer Woman.  You can find it here.

So life is good again.  Basically only for me though, but whatever right?  A happy mom makes a happy home.

I go back to school this coming Monday.  I am super full time this semester.  I am taking five classes for a total of 15 units.  I am also a research assistant right now on two upcoming books that I will be working on the next few months.  Oh yeah, and the whole wife and mother and running a household thing, and work, and laundry...oh!  and being a crabby blimpy whale.  But I think I will be just fine.

BUT....

I might not be here a whole heck of a lot.  Get your love in now folks, and try not to miss me tooooo much.

xoxo,

The ever expanding J.Danger

OVERWEIGHT.

I have been at the doctors for this pregnancy 5,397,871 times.  It is, by far, the hardest one yet for me.  And that says a lot.  But at my last appointment, nothing was said about my weight. NOTHING.  So I thought- sweet.  Homegirl thinks I'm good to go.

Wrong.

When I got home and read the visit summary, under my diagnoses there were two things written.  One of those things was OVERWEIGHT.

Really?  Why do they have to effing capitalize it?!  I mean COME ON.

I get really big when I am pregnant.  REALLY BIG.  I birth very large children.  VERY LARGE.  I also continually repeat myself for emphasis.  FOR EMPHASIS.

So I am not that worried about it.  I always lose the weight after the baby, and so who really cares anyway.  As long as I watch what I eat, control my blood sugar, husband doesn't leave his big fat wife, and this baby is in the clear, than I am good.

In the meantime though- did you know that it is Meyer lemon season?!  You know what that means?  Meyer Lemon Custard Tarts.  They are everywhere!

Except in my mouth.

And that my friends, is a problem.

xoxo,

(The ever Expanding) J.Danger

coming up for air

glub.glub.

This past week has been busy.  And by busy I mostly mean me trying to sleep at every waking moment.  I am just so tired.  All of the time.  And I don't mean tired like, "Oh I am tired" I mean tired like falling asleep while driving tired, and looking like a drug addict in front of the school while waiting for dismissal. 

"Who's that woman passed out over there?"

"Oh the drooly one?"

"Yeah, did she overdose or something?!"

"Oh no, that's just Tommy's mom.  She does that all the time."

What the heck folks.  What the heck.

I checked in with my ole pal Google reader and found....327 posts!

Whoa guys.  Didn't you get the memo?  When I break, YOU break!  Right?  Otherwise I just fall behind.  You know, like in everything.  

Which is what happened!

And I blame YOU!

xoxo,

Getting fatter by the minute- J.Danger

I am a big fat cheater

I was tagged by Josh over at Raging Dad.  How awesome is that!

That tag was to post a picture of myself that I take right this very second, no editing, no primping, no nothin.  Well, I think that the point is to keep it real, as opposed to literally taking the picture.  So I am meeting in the middle.  Or just making up my own rules, however you see it.

Remember when I told you that we rode a four person bike-cart thingy over Thanksgiving.

Well here you have it.

Thanks Josh!

Anniversary

One year ago today...

Cory and I were married.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

We are getting outta dodge to celebrate, so I will be back later in the week!

xoxo,

J.Danger

I broke my streak

Damn it!  I was doing so well- blogging my butt off.

But what can you do?  I have been so busy lately telling the time.

On my NEW ROLEX!

Cha-ching-

Swear to sweet baby Jesus it is the real deal!

see-

I know, I know.  Try to contain yourself.  But hey- it is the closest I will ever get to owning one.  I actually now own five!

My dear love of a husband brought it home for me on New Years Eve.

Basically because I made him this deliciousness here-

Chicken Fricassee and Dumplings (oops, except if I give the recipe for the dumplings, my mom will be really mad.  I don't know about you, but I would like to live to meet the baby in my tummy)

Recipe from The Joy of Cooking

Have ready:

3 1/2 to 4 1/2 pounds chicken or turkey parts

Separate the legs into drumsticks and thighs; cut each breast diagonally in half through the bone.  If you wish, remove the skin (you should probably remove the skin).  Sprinkle the chicken with:

Salt and black pepper to taste

Heat in a large skillet over medium heat

1/2 a stick of butter

Place only as many chicken pieces in the pan as will fit without crowding and cook, turning once, until pale golden, 3 to 5 minutes on each side.  Remove the chicken to a plate and brown the remaining pieces in the same manner.  Add to the fat in the pan

1 1/2 cups chopped onions

Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender but not browned, about 5 mins.  Stir in

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

Cook, stirring for a minute, then reduce heat to medium low, and whisk in

1 3/4 cups chicken stock or broth or water

Whisking constantly, bring to a boil over high heat.  Add

8 ounces mushrooms, sliced

3 medium carrots, diced

2 Large ribs of celery, diced

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon white or black pepper

Return the chicken pieces, with any accumulated juices, to the pan and bring to a simmer.  Reduce the heat so that the liquid barely bubbles.  Cover tightly and cook until the thighs register 180 on a thermometer, 20 to 30 minutes.  Skim the fat from around the sides with a spoon.  Stir in

1/4 to 1/2 cup heavy cream (I used milk)

season with-

salt and pepper

fresh lemon juice (I skipped this)

The sooner the chicken is served, the juicier it will be.

****************

It was really good.  I have been the worst wife ever this past week (or four) and so I figured it was about time that I showered and dressed myself and made a decent meal for my family.  Thank god for me it was good, otherwise I would have been still crying from the horrible chicken and all these damn hormones.

Side note- VERY IMPORTANT.  If you live in a two story house, and you happen to have to sleep upstairs, and not downstairs, in the room that is placed conveniently enough to catch all of your cooking odors, open up a damn window while you are cooking this meal.  Especially if you are knocked up, and just about everything from saltines to sardines makes you sick, because it would be really lame IF all night long all you could smell was dinner- fabulous or not- so thick in your room it is like clogging up your big fat pregnant nostrils, and you can't open a door because your toddler is sick and is sleeping with you, and the clean fresh air would just make him sicker, and so you leave the balcony door shut and slowly just breath the Chicken Fricassee air all night long, breath by breath, hoping that you do not suffocate and die, because then who would do all the dishes from dinner, oh and care for this sick toddler kicking you in your belly.  Just sayin.

xoxo,

The Ever Expanding J.Danger