Saturday, November 28, 2009

Floridian Foot Funk....oh, and Turkey

Happy Thanksgiving All!

We went to Florida again this year. It went remarkably smooth. The children enjoyed themselves, the family enjoyed themselves, everyone had a great time!

Except you'd never know it.

Because, can you believe it- I never packed my camera?!

What's that? You CAN believe it?

Ya, I know...I don't blame you.

This was the first time that I have made this family trip and not had to schlep around all my school work. I brought not one ounce of work with me! Well, that is not true. I needed to finish an article that I was freelancing, which I did, but other than that- zip, zero, zilch. Nada.

It was remarkable!

No one was sun burnt, no one threw up, no one was kicked out of any public places, no one broke anything....I mean really- I am still waiting for something terrible to happen. Just because that's how it works.

#2 got to bring home a super cool metal Thomas the Train bucket and shovel set. #3 got to bring home a sweet upset stomach. And #1? Well, he went all out and brought home a raging bacterial infection in his coral pocked foot.

I'd show you how cool it looks, except, well....I don't have my camera.

XOXO,
J.Danger

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Just some technical mumbo jumbo

I totally hate to do this to you all, but I have been bombarded by SpamBots these past few weeks. So, I am using Captchas. I know, I know...DOWN WITH THE CAPTCHAS!!!!  I feel ya, but there are only so many times that I can delete "I like such topics as this. Very good very infaermattiion for me to have learrrned" before I gouge my eyes out!

XOXO,
J.Danger

Friday, November 20, 2009

Gettin Sappy and Taking Shit for Granted

I miss Anissa.  I miss her bewbs.  I miss her random texting me in the middle of the night.  I miss her hitting on big bird just to tell me she did it and I missed it.

I know that I am only one in 5 gazillion people that Anissa effects in life, and that there are hundreds out there that are in much more pain than I could even imagine.

Like her family.

Her gorgeous kids.

Her dear husband.

I feel for them.

I was talking to my husband about the whole thing, and it hit me- holy shit, do I take my life for granted or what?!

I do.

I can't imagine what I would do if something ever happened to Cory. Or- heaven forbid- the kids. And here is Peter, who falls into both of those categories. What a strong strong man.

Yesterday Cory stayed home with the kids because I had a job interview.  Then, when I got a last minute writing assignment, he stayed home and COOKED AN ENTIRE TURKEY for me, basting it every thirty minutes so it wouldn't dry out.

He put all the kids to bed for me, bathed them, fed them, tucked them in and kissed them.

Then, the man stayed up just to see how my gig went, to talk to me, and then- to tuck me in too, only to keep working in his office till I have no idea what hour.

I love this man. And I swear to god- if he so much even THINKS about getting sick on me, or so much as GLANCES at a motorcycle...so help me god...


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

When Cory Proposed

Our anniversary is coming up. I like to watch this every once in a while....



Friday, November 13, 2009

The List


Emily did this last year, so duh....of course I copied her!

I think I will do it again this year too, I so enjoyed it! But to rehash- here is "The List" from last year-

Pay close attention-

****Originally posted in December of 08***


Today, Emily did this on her blog.
Not only does she make me hungry like, every freaking day, but she's pretty funny. You should start reading her blog. Then go ahead and make her recipes, but just don't do it as well as I think I can. That makes me feel remarkably inadequate. Thanks!
I thought it looked like fun! You all know I like to "acquire" ideas from others, so I thought....hmm... I can do that! She said I can too, so here goes!

100 things that I love-
(in no particular order! So NO complaining!)
1.my husband 2. my children 3.my mom 4.my friends 5. books 6. school 7. cooking 8. cupcakes 9. yogurtland 10. Tall Mouse craft stores 11. cookbooks! 12. garage sales 13. clearance racks 14. Target 15. Nordstroms 16. coffee 17. cashmere socks 18. wearing no shoes 19. being in my pajamas for as long as possible 20. weekends 21. date nights 22. "practicing" 23. road trips! 24. diet coke 25. natural mothering 26. pecan pie 27. pumpkin pie 28. Charles Dickens 29. grocery shopping for new recipes 30. hosting parties 31. Pushing Daisies 32. Project Runway 33. Historical Fiction 34. William Stafford 35. Billy Collins 36. John Irving 37. libraries 38. rainy days 39. Paula Deen 40. Quilts 41. Crocheted blankets from my mom 42. old photos 43. Amelie 44. Gone with the Wind 45. cheeseburgers 46. BBQ 47. good heels 48. Amazon.com 49. Ebay 50. mentos 51. m&ms 52. presents from Cory 52. Blues 53. margherita pizza 54. my piano 55. NPR 56. samples at Costco 57. writing out cards 58. Charlotte Bronte 59. chile verde 60. holidays 61. new babies 62. pregnant women (the nice ones) 63. flats 64. real coffee shops 65. Etsy 66. the deli 67. going to my mother in laws for dinner 68. Danger Family FUNdays 69. G.K. Chesterton 70. Tattoos 71. Real cities 72. other people's gardens 73. getting my hair done 74. writing 75. bikes 76. Jane Austen 77. George MacDonald 78. plants in a house 79. sustainable thinking 80. Google 81. Italian food 82. good mexican food 83. Reading with the kids 84. teaching the boys at home 85. being an interfaith family 86. going to the movies 87. being in bed 88. real life crime shows/books 89. biographies 90. food network 91. hot rods with loud exhaust 92. twitter 93. having great neighbors 94. having a home. period. 95. baking 96. giving gifts 97. weddings 98. Rolling Stones 99. going for walks 100. history channel
She was right- that was way easy. I guess it is good to have so much that I love!
You should try it. What do you love?
p.s. I better be on that list....or else....
p.s. squared- don't forget about the giveaway! (this ended sooooo forever ago! You missed it!
xoxo-
J.danger

Monday, November 9, 2009

You know you were thinking it....

You know what I think sucks?

Birthday parties.

Birthday parties and holidays.

Birthday parties, holidays, and family vacations.

I know…I know…sacrelig, right?

WRONG.

I never used to understand my mom when I was younger. Every year we would go camping along the good Ole’ Colorado River, and I mean camping. Sleeping on cots, cooking over a fire, “relieving” yourself in bushes, coming home redder than lobsters. (Side note, one time I burned so bad I came home with sun poisoning. My lips were two giant blisters. YOU try eating campfire spaghetti with two giant blisters for lips!). My cousin and I used to hunt snakes, until we found them. Then we would remember- we were girls, and oh-my-GAWWWWD- they will eat us. Then we stopped hunting snakes. But my mom, not so much. I mean sure she had fun, she would bring her Stephen King novels with her and laugh with my aunts and stuff, but she was never EXCITED excited like we were. I mean, I packed for this trip in like FEBRUARY every year. I never quite understood it.

Until I had kids.

And we camped.

HOLY COW is it hard. Why the hell do you even call it a vacation anymore?! It is TOTALLY not. WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. You know what it is?! It’s work, except for free, and in the dirt. You have to pack up like every dish known to man, and somehow get is to fit in ONE milk crate. You need to pack enough clothes for all the children (who will be playing in the DIRT!) for the entire week, and somehow get it in one bag. Plus, you never know what will happen, so now I also need to be a traveling medic (not THAT kind) and bring like, every single product that Band Aid and Johnson and Johnson make combined. Plus, the kids need to like, be comfortable, so we need cozies, and bears, and blankies, and on and on and on.
NOT FUN. I hear ya Mom, I hear ya.

Same thing with holidays. You get the kids allllll dressed up, so that they can shit themselves five seconds from your Great Aunt three times removed Gerda’s house. Then, all you do is chase them around the whole time yelling “DON’T TOUCH THAT”. Not fun.

And birthday parties?! I mean please, do I even need to say anything more? Um, hellllloooo? I BIRTHED YOU. Is this not enough already?!

So mom…here’s to you. Hats off lady, even if I did get skin cancer from all those camping trips. But me? I’ll pass. Here on out, it’s the Ritz for me.

Monday, November 2, 2009

God couldn't be everywhere at once, so he created moms....ahhhhh....

******I wrote this in July, when I was still pregnant to the MAX (as opposed to just looking like it, like, you know....NOW)*****

Somewhere in this pregnancy I stopped cleaning the house. No one noticed at first, so I just let it go. I keep up on the laundry, and do the dishes after I realize that leaving them in the sink until someone else notices them is doing me absolutely no good.

I DID mop the floors a week or two ago. Once. But really, they were still disgusting.

This was hard for me at first, because I usually keep a clean house. No joke folks, people envy me for my mad domestic skills. No joke.

But now? Not so much.

There is a bowling ball stuck to my midsection.

A three year old clinging to my right calf.

And an angry adolescent nagging at me from behind.

They all need something, NOW, which happens to be at the same time.

So first the make up went. Then the housekeeping.

Then? Sorry honey, but sex? Not so much.

Then my mom came over.

Cory and I left for a few hours- laundry fluffed and folded!

Floors cleaned, rinsed AND waxed.

Everything sparkled and glowed. The rugs were deodorized AND vacuumed.

The toilets were clean, the sinks were scrubbed.

AND she went grocery shopping for me.

At first I was totally embarrassed. OH MY GOD, my mom had to clean my house for me! I am the filthiest bum EVER.

But then I remembered- oh ya, this woman totally used to wipe my ass. AND she has been there for both gruesome bloody deliveries of those grand babies she loves so much.

But the poor hubs? There are still some things my mom won't do.

Damn it.