Monday, February 2, 2009

An open letter

Dear Maternity Clothing Companies,

I don't know about you but I am a GROWN woman.  Therefore, I refuse to wear any of the following items-

Linen shorts with pastel flowers embroidered on them and ruffles.  Yes, ruffles.
Giant denim t-shirts with Winnie the Pooh on it.
Anything with Winnie the Pooh on it, denim or not. 

Also, I already feel huge enough as it is.  Therefore, I refuse to wear any of the following items-

Anything with horizontal stripes.  Why?!  Why would you do that?
Anything with huge neon polka dots.  WHY?!
Basically, anything fluorescent period.
Any shirt, dress, and/or shirt-dress that ties directly underneath the largest part of my gigantic middle girth.  Totally not cool man.

Also, I understand that only women can get pregnant.  But guess what geniuses- not every woman on the planet simply adores hot pink.  



J.Danger (a.k.a you better take my advice right this very second because I am pregnant and therefore automatically right, OR ELSE)