Monday, February 2, 2009

An open letter

Dear Maternity Clothing Companies,

I don't know about you but I am a GROWN woman.  Therefore, I refuse to wear any of the following items-

Linen shorts with pastel flowers embroidered on them and ruffles.  Yes, ruffles.
Giant denim t-shirts with Winnie the Pooh on it.
Anything with Winnie the Pooh on it, denim or not. 

Also, I already feel huge enough as it is.  Therefore, I refuse to wear any of the following items-

Anything with horizontal stripes.  Why?!  Why would you do that?
Anything with huge neon polka dots.  WHY?!
Basically, anything fluorescent period.
Any shirt, dress, and/or shirt-dress that ties directly underneath the largest part of my gigantic middle girth.  Totally not cool man.

Also, I understand that only women can get pregnant.  But guess what geniuses- not every woman on the planet simply adores hot pink.  



J.Danger (a.k.a you better take my advice right this very second because I am pregnant and therefore automatically right, OR ELSE)


Cristine said...

Isn't it so hard to find cute maternity clothes? What are they thinking???

musicjunkie said...

For some cool and design your own maternity T's (if you're a T kinda gal) go here:

And for a little fashionable maternity wear, go here:

some of the patterns are a little garish, but some of the casual stuff isn't too shabby, and they're on sale. And no Winnie the Pooh =0P

Good Luck.

Liss said...

I got most of mine off

Cute, comfy and decent prices

Anonymous said...

Might I refer you to Ms. Erin Fisher? She works with a really great company called "Rock Star Moms" Super cute Materinty clothes.

I can email you her info

Heather to the S.

Tara said...

I used to have good luck with Gap.

Megkathleen said...

I used to work at a maternity shop and I never understood the horizontal stripes. But, you know? They sold well. I always tried to steer women away from them, but some women love their stripes.

Raging Dad said...

I suppose the trendy maternity clothes are insanely expensive. Having a giant Winnie the Pooh plastered across your butt does seem to be an odd choice for anyone...

Bookfool said...

It's been a long, long time since I was a pregnant person, but you'd think they'd have gotten past the pink thing by now.

Please Dress Up! said...

to bad we're not closer, we would have made you something perfect. There's so much horrid maternity wear out in the world. You should look into designing.

Rosie said...

It's such a long time since I required maternity clothes but sounds like nothing changes!

Rosie x

Cara said...

Hilarious! I can't wait for this moment:)