Sunday, February 8, 2009

How I met your mother, or Kimbo Slice- either way...

Pregnancy brings about many totally awesome side effects, no?  Like totally awesome sci-fi weird dreams.  Lots of dreams about murderers and scuba diving penguins, walking trees, you name it and I have probably dreamt it with this kid right here.

But last night totally took the cake.

I went to bed (for the last 5 and one half nights) craving a root beer float.  There is just something about them- root beer makes vanilla ice cream better, and vanilla ice cream makes root beer better.  It is a proven fact folks.

This is what I dreamt last night-

I am in our local Albertson's and I am checking out at the register.  The clerk gets to the end of my items, and suddenly the two liter of Root Beer that the man behind me is purchasing falls down, rolls around on the scanner for a minute, and then falls to the floor of the cashier's little money batman cave.

And proceeds to totally EXPLODE.  You ever seen those commercials for Diet Coke and Mentos?  Like that.  Everyone is staring at me, and staring at the Root Beer, and just plain staring.  But all of a suddenly, I find myself drenched in Root Beer- checkbook still out and everything.  It was not a sprinkling, or a light drizzle.  I was somehow the only person in the store to have received the full force blow of the Root Beer bomb.

UNTIL....

I look to the right of my cart, and there is Kimbo Slice.  TOTALLY knocked out by the bottle cap of my Root Beer bonanza.

Yep, I knocked out Kimbo Slice without even using my hands.

But most importantly, on my way out you better believe I told the man behind me "Don't forget to grab a new Root Beer!"

Oy Vey.

Now- who is buying me a Root Beer Float?  

Mind your answer- or I may just take you out.

xoxo,
J.Danger

7 comments:

Raging Dad said...

Now that's a weird one. I had to Google Kimbo Slice, which I guess makes me dumb or something.

I too am a big fan of the root beer float. Also the orange juice float. Mmmm. Floats.

Mrs.M said...

I have REALLY weird dreams every single night. I keep telling my husband I'm going to blog about them because they're pretty intense. LOL. Vampires, mermaids, werewolves, killers, stalkers, weird animals, you name it.

Don't you love it?? LOL. And go get a float! I want peaches! From a can. Weird.

Eva said...

I have weird dreams all the time like Mrs. M!! The weirdest this week was probably me becoming a matyr by trying to escape a castle, getting shot full of arrows while in the moat, and drowning. But I remember thinking "I'm a saint now!" hehe In real life, I'm not even religious, though I was raised Catholic.

Definitely get the float!

musicjunkie said...

LMAO! My dreams are pretty freaky on a regular basis, I wonder what I'll dream up come the day I'll be pregnant.

If ya come to ol' Louisville, I'll buy you a rootbeer float for breakfast, lunch and dinner! =0P

J.Danger said...

Josh- You are not dumb. Trust me, my vast knowledge of Kimbo Slice does not elevate my knowledge bank! I don't even know how I know the guy!

Patty- I know, they are sooooo weird! Peaches from a can sounds good.

Eva-You read WAY to much Medieval lit!

Ana- it's a date!

Minimeltdown said...

I totally had to google your man Kimbo, too. But now I'm enlightened. And seeing pictures of his burly ass just makes the story that much better!

stealthnerd said...

Hm, yeah, not pregnant at all but could now totally go for a root beer float!