Thursday, July 30, 2009

Revenge is a dish best served with a Medical Degree

Earlier this week my friend Jenn had her adorable little smooshy faced baby, Jack.

That's him, right there- in her belly.

This made me VERY happy, for several reasons.  1- He is adorable.  2- I got to smell little newborn baby head, which is my absolutely hands down favorite smell EVER.  3- This reminds me that Jenn and I are only a few weeks apart, so I am NEXT bitches!

So I have spent the past few days driving (the worst commute EVER!) to and from the hospital to visit and cuddle and coo.  Yesterday, I am waddling into the hospital's main entrance, heading towards the mega elevators they have for the pregos.  You know, the ones that can hold 5,000 pounds at once? Gracefully?  Those.  And two seconds after I walk in, this super nice grey haired little ole volunteer lady (I swear I think I saw her reading New Moon!!!!!) came barreling towards me with a wheelchair.  THAT is how freaking pregnant I am folks.  Pathetic.

So, after screaming at my hard of hearing yet quick with the wheelchair Team Edward cohort that I indeed am NOT in labor and therefore do not need the Porsche of the Elders, who do I see strutting down the super important doctors only past this point hall way?

I see YOU, Mr. had a crush on Mama Dangerous when she was 16 and then got super weird and stabby revenge-y when I politely (not so much) told you that I was actually not that into you after all.

Oh hai!

He did not see me, thank GOD, because none of my shirts cover my bulging belly anymore, which is totally NOT hot.  I also had no makeup on, and I am pretty sure that my bra was all over the place, AND the excitement over the little babies makes my boobs leak EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

Oh yea, and there is the fact that YOU ARE NOW A GOD DAMN DOCTOR!


Which is funny, because I distinctly remember him telling me that the only reason I was not into him at the wise old age of 16 was because I liked "Bad Boys"  on motorcycles with tattoos and funny hair, and that "Bad Boys" will only get me into trouble.

Oh ya?

Well guess what Mr. Smarty Doctor Pants.

This one, this one right here?


 Not so much trouble.  Only marriage, babies, and a happily ever after.

And- he has GREAT hair.

Showed you!

xoxo,
J.Danger

6 comments:

Minimeltdown said...

What a great story and the photo evidence makes it. Except for the part about how pregnant you are because that part sucks ass. Here's hoping Sweet Edward comes out real soon. AND...a little late to the party but I just started Twilight. I'm a total cliche because so far I'm loving it.

Cristine said...

I loved this post! I'm so excited for you that the baby will be coming soon. :)

musicjunkie said...

Great post!

And I think I know who Mr. Crush is, if my memory serves me correctly. =0P

booklineandsinker said...

my NIGHTMARE--running into old exs or crushes! one stalked me on facebook--but since i don't actually have facebook, he contacted my SISTER to get my info. scary, no?

he's divorced with three kids and was wondering if i was 'looking for love' or something like that. glad to know i have a backup plan if hubby ditches me anytime soon. lol.

Bookfool said...

You are so funny and I love that you're so crazy about your husband. :)

Robin said...

What a fun post! And you two look absolutely beautiful pregnant!