Some goats and the kids,with Jane Eyre, oh and camp

So the kids had a petting zoo come out to the school yesterday. Oliver has not stopped talking about the animals. It was like he was on speed this morning!

Me--"Good morning Bug!"
BB--"GOOD MORNING MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me--"Hows it going?"
BB--"SHEEP! GOATS! THE CHICKENS! BUCK BUCK BUCK! OH AND GOATS! GOATS GOATS GOATS! goat goat goat (goats make the sound 'goat' and thats it)
Me--"Wow Oliver thats amaz-"
BB--"CHICKENS! BUCK BUCK BUCK LOOK MOM! BUCK BUCK BUCK...LOOK!(animated hand movements) LLAMAS (INSERT SPIT HERE) OH AND GOATS AND BUNNIES. BUNNIES BUNNIES BUNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIES!"
Me--"Gosh Oliver it sounds like your still excited for-"
BB--"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GOATS!"

It was amazing! I was tired just listening to him. Then when Daddy dropped them off at Day Care there was a bounce house today. Let the torrent of exciteable screams begin again. Unfortunately for the poor sap walking out of the building when Oliver was walking in, he was a wee bit dramatic. Oliver totally stopped, squatted, stared the guy dead in the eyes, and screamed at him "BOUNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOOOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE!" The gentleman ran away equally screaming.

I heard it was amazing.

Tomas is going away for camp. For his first time. He will be gone for...hold it...wait for it... ONE WHOLE WEEK! Now, before we get all slap happy, the husband and I will not be able to party it up for this week. We still have number two, and jobs, and school, and have to be upstanding adults. But it will be nice to not be jam packed with Drake appointments five days a week, and therapy, so that will be a great break. Also, Nealy is home visiting (yes!) so maybe the husband and I can squeeze in a date night. We'll see.

But back to the point-

What the hell am I going to do for a week?! Besides worry and imagine a series of imminent doom and disaster involving my son while he is hours away and I am totally out of control of the situation?! What the hell? How do parents (insert "moms" here) do this? Oh my god, what will I do for college?! He just cant go. Done.

Speaking of college- I have almost forgotten for the summer that I am still in college! School starts back up for me in three weeks and I am so eager to go back. Except for one little problem- I am so sticking behind it is not even laughable. And don't think for one red hot minute that it was due to laziness. Because it was NOT! I have been so busy this summer, I have just fallen short. And I am mad disappointed in myself.

So today at work I am reading Jane Eyre while I process my files. Or trying to really. I am doing an independent study on Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso Sea pertaining to gender inequity. The result will be both my senior thesis (40 pages! What the hell?!) and also my graduate entry writing sample. So it is big time. I need to get going.

I had forgotten how much I LOVE Jane Eyre though. Here are some of my favorite quotes-

"Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last".

"If people were always kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust; the wicked people would have it all their own: they would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would grow worse and worse".

"It is not violence that best overcomes hate - nor vegeance that most certainly heals injury".

"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends".

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it".

"I don't think, sir, that you have a right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience". (Hello gender inequity!)

I could go on and on, but I know that not everyone loves Jane Eyre like I do. (Heathens!)

Side note- Cory is doing so well at work right now, and I am so very proud of him! Big things folks, big things!

xoxo-
J.Danger

Camping Pictures

Please be kind to me, we were camping. I mean who really looks that good in the wild?!  I mean, come on, really?

There were lots of tall trees to stand under

And plenty of Danger Family Dance offs, most of which Oliver won

Waiting for Smores

Card games galore and the table of doom

Brothers! They had a lot of fun.

I have more pictures,  but it takes so long to put them up.  Blah! The camping part was way more fun!

xoxo,

J.Danger

Waddup G?

So this weekend was our camping extravaganza, and an extravaganza it was! It started out well, we left on time, and only lost one thing out of the back of the truck on the 5 (thats a record!). We knew we were good when we didn't pass the 91 east on ramp (also a record for Cory and I). Then, we arrived in Riverside (enough said already) to pick up our camper. We were told when picking the camper up that they would require a $500 deposit, cash or money order ONLY. Suspicious? I was. Immediately. But we were stuck. And it was HOT! The kids were hungry, thirsty, and ready to be camping already. So we packed them back up,found a bank, and bought a money order. WITH A VERIFIABLE RECEIPT. When we get back to the camper we were told of all 57,004 hidden fees we were now going to be charged. Fine. Whatever, please lets just go.

We went.

Friday was delightful! We got to our campsite and the boys actually helped set up. Tomas rode his bike for "recon" and Oliver tried to follow him around on his tricycle. We changed and went to the lake, which was beautiful (remember this) had dinner, smores, everything was fine. Bedtime was a breeze (thank you honey), for the baby at least.

Lets talk about the bed situation for a red hot minute. Or two sleepless nights, either way works.

There were two pop out beds. The larger one held a weight limit of precisely my husband's weight. So i'm out. The second pop out bed is so unsafe that the children can roll entirely OUT of the back of the camper if they move too far to the side. There was a third teeny tiny bed that was comprised out of two cushions, that absolutely no one would be able to sleep on. Unless you were a troll, and trolls are creepy anyway so who the hell would camp with trolls? The last bed was the bed that was a table. The table was broken so it would not stand up, and then when it was lying down it would not lay flat, so the whole bed was lop sided. So- Tomas slept in the dangerous bed with a giant wall of cushions and pillows to cut off the "cliff bed", Oliver slept in the lopsided table bed of doom, Cory slept in the large cozy yet incredibly noisy pop out bed. Everyone is good right? Oh wait, there are four people in this family....so who's missing....odd.

That about sums up the camper of death. Oh that and the sink leaked (and by leaked I mean flooded EVERY SINGLE TIME), the fridge did not work, the screen had a hole in it (hello flies and critters), the pop out shade was in-op, I can go on and on. Needless to say, when we dropped it off on Sunday, the owners did not meet us at the lot with our deposit (the one that is TRACEABLE!) nor have they been answering our phone calls. This is gonna be great! I promise you- like I promised my dear dear patient husband, we will get that money back. Oh yes.

Anyway- saturday we ate and got ready for a day at the lake. Packed an ice chest, Cory spent a ton of money on new fun water toys and what nots cuz we couldn't get a boat, and we headed out.

Holy shit. When did Silverwood lake become the gansta' gansta' meeting grounds?! Let me assure you, I grew up in the ghetto. I get it, I am not squeamish or over-reactionary when it comes to this. I know gang culture; when to panic and when to not. This my fine friends, was nearing a panic situation.

I do not think it was coincidental that there were gigantic men with lots of prison ink swimming in blue trunks, that all "forgot" to remove the blue bandanas from around their neck. After one of their kids "accidentally" punched my oldest in the chest while "swimming" Cory and decided we needed to leave. Like now, like grab the kids and run and get the hell out of here now!

Which was fine because it was so effing face melting hot and there was no wind, and or shade anywhere. Oh, and the lake? Totally effing neon green with algae and filth. NEON. Hence all the neat little intestinal trouble causing friends that we all brought home. We were done. DONE.

But thats ok, because the rest of saturday was so much fun! Cory and the baby took a nap so Tomas and I went exploring. We found a bike trail, a nature hike, an ampitheater, and we just hung out together. Cory, Tomas and I played card games galore, and we even had a make shift session of Danger Family Dinner theater in the empty site next to us. We had a marshmallow face stuffing contest (Cory won with 9, and some puke) but Tomas came in close with 6 (no puke), and Oliver tried his hardest with two! So cute!

All in all, a good time was had by all. No one was hurt, no major sun burns, everyone came out ok and Cory and came home feeling all crunchy granola-y and Earthy, and like we were ok parents after all. (Take that nay sayers!) The funny thing was that the baby got hurt afterwards, at home! Go figure. But that's another post. Tomorrow?

We have pictures. They are at home, but I am not. I am at work. Getting paid for all my efforts. Blogging efforts that is!

I will post the pictures later!

Have a good day dearies!

xoxo,
J.Danger

Danger Family Vacation 08

The shots went fine, thanks to all who asked.  Well, no one asked thankyouverymuch. But still- they are a-ok.  Poor Tomas.  He has not been to the doctor in some time (knock on wood) so they decided to just make this a physical.  So the nurse hands him a gown and tells him to take off everything but his socks!  The look on his face...thats about as far as I need to go on that one.  Anyone else with kids nearing the pre-teen curse, err I mean age, understands exactly what went down in that room, and the parental torment that ensued at home.  Then, after the doctor visited down under, it was time to get stuck with a needle. Tomas didn't even know what hit him before it was over.  All in all, he did quite well. 

Oliver though, was Oliver. He was mega pissed, and as a result, he moved.  There was blood all over his pants and his leg, the nurse felt horrible, and I thought Oliver was going to just melt to the floor he was so distraught.

On an up note though, part of the whole "You're the Best Employee on the Planet Award" (see post below) was that I got a jar full of chocolate.  Yep, totally used it to bribe my kids into behaving well for the doctor.  I was that mom.

Both are bruised, but both are done.

Now, on to the weekend!  This weekend we are taking our annual Danger Family Vacation!  Woot-woot!  We are going camping!  So wish us luck.  

Don't tell anyone, but we are totally not roughing it.  We rented a huge trailer camper for the weekend.  Really, we didn't have a choice.  The baby sleep walks so bad, that I had horrible visions in my head involving lakes, bears, snakes, and twenty something year olds without morals or scruples for the weekend (and probably not clothes either).

We leave friday, so wish us luck!

Be well darlings!

Xoxo,

J.Danger

Shots anyone?

Today both of the boys are getting shots. At the same time. Now, an hour before the appointment, I am not sure why I thought this was a good idea.

Tomas is up for a Varicella booster, and Oliver is up for a D-Tap round.

Here's hoping!

Let you know how it goes-

xoxo,

J.Danger

Kung Fu, Clyde the Incredible Death Defying Turtle, and the Circus

side note.... the post below is from an UNINVITED guest blogger.  You see, when we got home tonight and I opened up Joon (my lovely laptop!) I discovered that my dear husband had left his Myspace open for all to see!  

It was my golden ticket....

for this comment, on MY page, under HIS name-

"Hi honey!  I just love you so much, you are the best ever!  You are like kittens and rainbows and all the other things I love so much but can't ever tell the guys about!  Lets bake cupcakes tonight and watch Gossip Girls!  I love you soooooo much!  I would be nothing without you!"

It was genius!  However, the username and password to my blog access is not, hence the "guest"

post below...

Friday morning at breakfast time, Oliver discovered a picture of a Kung Fu Panda bandana on the box of his cereal.  He immediately asked for one, so Cory gobbled up this moment that he has been looking forward to for 2 years now- we are shooting for a Willie Nelson resemblance-

                                          .

Second side note- Nealy is home from NY for a few weeks to visit before the start of her next jam packed academic year.  Tomas went to show her the turtles we "acquired" a few months back.  Lo and behold, there is not two, but merely one, lonely turtle.  

The other night we caught Oliver, apparently in dire cravings for turtle soup, attempting to climb in (yes, really in) the turtle tank.  We shoo'd him away, and continued forth with our daily amazing awesomeness.  Hence, the missing turtle, Bonnie's own dear husband, Clyde.

We found him, hiding under the teal bench in our dining room. He was miraculously alive!  

Those crazy criminals!  

I wonder if Bonnie and Clyde were alive today, would they hack into Myspace accounts instead of rob banks?  And would they do it in a bandana?

My Husband is better than yours

This is a personal post today ladies. I just had a loooong day with my husband and his mother and sister and our kids at the circus. All i can say is I married a man with the patience of a Saint. I don't know why but today just made me @!#*&$% crazy and my husband was there to make it all better. He cared for the kids when they acted up, dealt with his mother when she acted up and then dealt with me when I acted up all the while with a Cool Hand Luke smile on his face. I have to admit I was a little bit much today and will definitely be thanking him tonight. Not like that, I mean in the bedroom hahaha! But seriously there's like  thousand more things I could say but for now that'll be it. 

Goodnight girls!