Contract Schmontract

We HAD cable, with a cable company that has the BEST NAME EVER, before we came to terms with the fact that we are broke and couldn’t afford it. Plus, they were just total jerks and we were tired of them. So we decided to go another route and see if there are any other services out there that we might be able to somehow miraculously afford without selling the last of our collective kidneys. Cory spent hours on the phone begging and pleading with cable companies to save us from the doom of no Nickelodeon, Nick Jr., or Cartoon Network.

Then, in rays of sunshine, rainbows, and purring kittens came a company that sounds a little like Schmerect Schmeevee. They promised us ALL of these things and a pot of filthy lucky gold, AND they were priced in our dwindling microscopic price range. So we signed up.

We should have known better.

We give them all our information. Contract for 18 months? Ok. $34.95 a month FOR ALL OF THOSE MONTHS? Ok. DVR included? Ok. Only $21 needed now for delivery of the boxes? Ok.
Schmerect Schmeevee comes out, installs the boxes, we sign, we’re good.
Until…we eventually get our bill. To discover that we were NOT charged a mere $21 for delivery, we were instead charged $63 dollars- automatically on my credit card WITHOUT permission. And it is indeed NOT $34.95 a month for 18 months like we were promised- that price only applies AFTER you apply for all of their rebates and only IF you meet the requirements. It takes- of course- approximately 8 weeks for these rebates to be completed, which means we are stuck with the waaaaay higher bill for those 8 weeks.

DVR? No, not so much really because if we want that after all we have to lease a separate DVR box for another $99. Fantastic.

Best part- after staying on the phone with customer service FOREVER we discover that by signing the installation agreement with the man that said all of MAYBE two words to us, we locked ourselves into an 18 month long contract with this company. DESPITE the fact that I SWEAR TO YOU, Cory and I ASKED ALL THESE questions and were deliberately mislead – we are fucked for the next 18 months.
Schmerect Schmevee- YOU SUCK. And the next 18 months are gonna suck for you- trust me.

Two things-

Happy Purim!

Purim is a Jewish holiday that celebrates the saving of the Jews from a pending massacre during the Persian period.  You can read about Purim in the book of Esther- the heroine who saves her people.  Purim is a wildly celebrated holiday- just ask my kids!  Last night they celebrated with my husband and his mother at the Temple; I was in class.  All the kids wore costumes and ran around yelling and twirling noise makers!  There was pizza and cookies, soda and a carnival!  They also got to watch adults make fools of themselves on stage!  Totally awesome.

You can read more about Purim HERE.

Second- Speaking of Esther, did you know that March is National Women's History Month?  I'll bet you didn't!  Every year a theme is chosen to be represented through the month.  This year the theme for National Women's History Month is "Women Taking the Lead to Save our Planet" and helps to highlight women who have taken the lead in environmental issues.

You can read the President's press release about it (and you should!) HERE.

Also, there is a super awesome page about NWHM HERE.

On that note- I am hungry.

Enjoy your day lovelies!

XOXO,

J.Danger

This is my 100th post

100.

I figure that by the time a person gets to be about a hundred, they must have a ton of secrets to spill.

So- in the spirit of turning one hundred today, I am letting you spill your guts ANONYMOUSLY.

Comment away, totally anonymously.  I won't track you down, there are no tricks, and no one will know it is you.

Give it a go.  You know you wanna-

xoxo,

J.Danger

Here's the thing-

Sometimes (most of the time) pregnancy just plain sucks.  It is hard on your body, it makes you think your crazy, and you get fat- ON PURPOSE.

Right now- it sucks.

I cannot even remember the last time I got some decent sleep.  Either my belly is in the way, or my legs hurt, or I have to pee, or lately I just cannot sleep.  I just lie awake, with ice on my baby maker, for hoooooooouuuuuuurs, listening to my damn neighbor's dog whine for Lord knows what.  Then the baby gets up, and I am busy for hours, and we start all over.  But here's the catch-

Just because I don't sleep at night, doesn't mean I can during the day!

I still need to get up because who knew kids need breakfast?  Then the carpool, then the commute, then the hours of Academia, then  the commute back, then karate and tutoring, and preschool, and dinner, and laundry, and dishes and all of the amazing perks of motherhood. 

What the heck man?  Shouldn't the world just stop turning for roughly 8 hours for me?  Please?  Just this one time?  PUHLEAZE?

And be forewarned- do not tell me that it only gets worse from here, because guess what?  I FREAKING KNOW.  And yet I still allowed myself to think that a THIRD was a genius idea.

No one ever listens to me.

Where's the cookies Tomas ( read: ME) made last night?

WW: I Heart New Orleans.

Ba-dunk-a-dunk

Fifteen weeks.

Holy Shit.

xoxo,

J.Danger.

Dear Sinus Infection-

Here's the thing.  I understand how awesome and cozy my head must obviously be, seeing as how this is your third stay at Hotel Jessica in only two months.  So obviously, I must be totally awesome.  But you know what- I am taking my pineapple back my friend.  You are not welcome here!  This is the worst weekend ever for you to come and cozy on up in all my canals- because I have a TON of work, I am teaching tomorrow, and am home alone TILL MONDAY with los Boyos, and frankly- I just don't like you.  You are gross.  You stink.  You leave a mess everywhere.  And you make me look like a mongoloid.  Not that I have anything against mongoloids, cuz I totally don't, but still....come on! 

Pack your bags sir- and get the hell out!

Thank you so kindly,

J. Danger