Friday, March 13, 2009

At which point, she freaking loses it.

The other day my husband answered the phone to this-

Them- “Hello is this Cory Danger?"

Cory- “Yes, why?”

Them- “Do you live at 1234 Best Damn Family Ever Lane?”

By now, Cory is not only suspicious but also irritated. When Cory is irritated- look out…

Cory- “What is this referring to?”

Them- “Do you live next door to a Miss So and So at 1235 NOT the Best Damn Person Ever Lane?” She is indeed, not the best damn person EVER at ALL, but that’s ok- I won’t bash her here because it is mean. Right? Right.

Cory- “ INAUDIBLE YELLING with some cursing thrown in” meanwhile I am acting like a damn fool trying to gesture to my darling husband that our children are indeed still in the room and are indeed wearing their (usually far from site whenever I need them!) listening ears.

Long story short- these damn creditors actually called US, at OUR house, to try to convince us to march our self-righteous NOT BEING HOUNDED BY CREDITORS asses next door to let our neighbor know that we have a message for her. From her creditor. About her delinquent and outstanding bill. Are you kidding me?! Do we like her? No, hands down- no. Do we wish her ill will- wellllll…….but still- no way I am going over there to totally humiliate her. Come on.

But it gets worse.

I do not speak to my father. I have not, for years now. He is not well however, so whenever something goes wrong, or he needs something- I am that phone call. I come home the other day to this message-

“Hi this message is for Jessica Danger. I am calling in reference to her father. His case has been elevated to critical and severe and I have been told to notify you. It is imperative that we speak to you immediately, as again his case has been elevated to critical and severe. Please call …….and ask for…..”

At this point, I am near hysterics. I am shaking. I cannot breathe. I want to call my husband at work and just cry, but I am dialing the number before I even realize that I want to call my husband and cry instead.

The woman answers, asks my name, the number they called, my father's name, a gazillion privacy questions. Finally I just yell at her to tell me what the fuck is going on and is my father ok?! At which point she tells me that she is actually calling because my father owes a substantial debt that needs to be paid immediately, yadda yadda, etc…

At which point, I freaking lose it.

I would love to tell you what I told her over that phone, but I can’t because despite the fact that I curse repeatedly on this site and talk about yeast infections, vibrators and vomit, at some point in time my children will (eventually realize just how cool I REALLY AM and) read this blog and I need to remember that right now.

But you can use your imagination.

Then double it.

You would be about right.


22 comments:

musicjunkie said...

credit card companies and hospitals are two of the things I hate the most...REALLY hate.

And how icky is it that a credit card company can get your info when it's not even you that has an account with them! So much for privacy.

Wishing you a stress free weekend...

Tara said...

OMG. I cannot believe you got a call about your neighbors. My sister and I were getting calls awhile ago about my other sister! I don't even know how they got my info.

♥Rosie♥ said...

In-take-of-breath here... credit card companies should know better and hospitals should be better at people skills!! This is so unreal hun!!

Hope you have a good weekend!

Rosie x

stealthnerd said...

Ugh, creditors are the worst! Thankfully I've never dealt with them but I've heard enough horror stories from friends!

stealthnerd said...

Ugh, creditors are the worst! Thankfully I've never dealt with them but I've heard enough horror stories from friends!

Cristine said...

No way!!! Geesh... I'm glad you gave them a piece of your mind!

Anonymous said...

Oh wow!!! I didn't even know that was legal for them to do.a

StickyGooeyCreamyChewy said...

Unbelievable! It can't be legal for them to do that! The creepiest thing is how did the credit card company get your information?

The Food Librarian said...

OMG! I can't believe they called for your neighbor...and that type of message about your father is completely unethical!

Eva said...

That's INSANE!

Bookfool said...

Sounds like you guys need to stop answering your phone.

booklineandsinker said...

yikes...guess debt collectors are getting desperate...stalking people on line to see who their neighbors are. scary.

gitz said...

I AM IN SHOCK! Seriously... creditors call you about your neighbors?!?!? And make you think you're dad is dying in a hospital when they really just want money?!?!!?

I'm torn between wanting to rip into these people for you (nothing like unneeded stress for the pregnant lady you are) and being so disgusted at the state of our society that it has somehow become ok to harass innocent people in the name of money.

Ugh.

Gentle Reader said...

Wow, that sucks. Plus it sounds illegal. I've gotten creditors looking for people with my last name and first initial before, but not for my neighbors or family. I must say it is extremely satisfying to tell them that, no, that person does not live here, and I hope you don't find them!

onlinepastrychef said...

Wow. Creditors are getting really creative these days. And to stoop to making you freak out about your dad--there is just not enough cursing in the world for that.

Donna-FFW said...

I am so with you. I HATE the creditors. They soo suck. I love when they try to hide who they are with unknown numbers, idiots. Just stumbled upon your blog. Love your posts, you are my kind of person. Nice to "meet" you!

Jen said...

I'm so pissed off for you! I'm in shock that creditors can even get your info. I'm sure that's not legal. It's certainly not ethical to harass you on behalf of your neighbor. I don't even know my neighors names. And to trick you into thinking your dad was in the hosp is the lowest thing I've ever heard of. Sorry you had to go through that.

Bellini Valli said...

OMG!!!! This is pathetic to what lengths these credit card companies will go to and are allowed to get away with.

Iliana said...

OMG - This is insane! Girl, don't pick up the phone anymore ;)

When we moved this past summer the phone number we got belonged to someone who must have had a lot of financial problems. So lots of creditors calling for someone I don't know. Grrr. Thank goodness for caller id.

Minimeltdown said...

GAWD...the creditors are getting completely out of control. Someone needs to reign them in...good thing you and Cory led the charge!

Raging Dad said...

Both halves of that story are terrible. The father thing is particularly loathsome. Creditors, I have no expectation of rationality, but a hospital ought to be better than that...

Heather said...

Um, maybe I need to browse through your archives and find that post on vibrators, must have missed that one!