WW: and baby got low low low...

And the waiting begins....

I'm so emo, I could join his team

So, there is a drawback to having a substantial gap in age between your children.

I am about to give birth to an infant, while parenting a three year old, and (trying to) raise a pre-teen.

Ouch.

I am not prepared for this.  I do not know what to do.  He has become a totally different person overnight.

Half of me wants to just ignore him, I am not even going to lie.  I mean this kid is rough!  Mean. Crabby, hormonal, pissy, and SMELLY.

But the other half of me?  Misses my baby.

Where has he gone?!  I never see him anymore, unless he needs food, money, or a ride.  When he is home and in the family room, it is to snap at someone, or pick a fight with whoever is in arms reach.  He gets phone calls all day long, and so many friends stopping by that when I get sick of it, I make it look like no one is home and ignore the doorbell.  Which, oh my GAWD, it is too hot right now to close up all the shutters!

His face is breaking out.

His armpits REEK.

He worries about what he is wearing.

He notices GIRLS, and then points them out to me.

When did this happen?!  In any given day, even just a thirty minute span, I careen from potty mess clean ups to hormonal outbreaks over not having Ramen noodles!  And I am the hormonal pregnant one in these parts folks!

But now, I miss the baby stage.  I miss when he toddled behind me asking "Why why why".  I miss when he used to get excited about visiting me at work for ice cream sundaes.  Or when he loved being the only kindergartner sitting in on my college classes.  Now he won't even be seen with me in public!

So my solution?  I am still not sure.  I go back and forth between hiding from my children to read Twilight and play Bubble Blaster, and crying to my husband about (damn near anything) having more children A.S.A.P.

It is a double edged sword folks, and I am getting both sides.

XOXO,

J.Danger

No one will read this anyway, thanks to YOU BlogHer.

Yesterday Cory and I went to a wedding.  It was the older brother of a family friend of Cory's.  Read= we have no idea why we were invited!  But thank god they did because we really had a great time out.  The bride did it all herself, at the Botanical Gardens, at sunset, gorgeous!  And- there was Mexican food.  REAL Mexican food.  Fish taco bar? Check.  Carnitas? Check.  Real home made guacamole? Check.  And there was an open bar, all night.  Woooooo  I was raging on the diet coke.

Best part ever?  

Cory and I got to stay for cake, which lets be real here, is the only reason anyone goes to weddings anyways.  We never get to stay for cake, we always have to leave before cake, for the kiddddddds, but not last night.  So, to make up for all that lost cake, I had two!  Holla!

Down side?  BUG HEAVEN.  Oy Vey.  And, I looked freaking adorable in all my 9 month pregnant glory, until you got to my feet.  But thank YOU, Old Navy, for making flip flops in every color for only a buck.

Oh ya, and the crazy lady that sat next to us for the entire reception.  

She was following us around, talking the whole time, about our tats and our colors and how adorable we are.  Then we had to fix her chair, she somehow developed a nick name for one of us in all of 3.49 seconds that stuck ALLLLL NIGHT LONG, and....she had crazy eyes.

Oh, you know crazy eyes.

But then- all of a sudden, it comes out.  She is a teacher.  Teaching the same EXACT subject that I want to be teaching, in the ONLY district that is actually hiring right now, AND she is a consultant and advocate in the district.

So, turns out- crazy lady is my new BFF, and I spent the rest of the night clinging to her every word.  Turns out, she freaking LOVES me, and (after two, then three, STRONG drinks) she was pretty rad.

So, me and my new BFF have exchanged ALL of our contact info, and we have a K-I-T date set.

Score one for me crazy cat lady! (I don't know if she actually has cats, but it adds to the illusion)

Today, I am paying the price for all those fish tacos, endless diet cokes, and delicious cake. Quietly, at home, with only the wee one, dreaming of all the cats we all know I will own in a few decades.  And all the old newspapers stacked in corners, with expired coupons just waiting to be spent.  Lets be real here folks, there was a reason we hit it off right quick, crazy cat lady and I.

xoxo,

J.Danger

WW: 35 weeks

(Today IS wednesday, right?!)

Where in the World is Jessica San Diego?

I know.  It's been ages dahhhhling.

What have I been doing this past month?

Well, you see, my three year old has been trying to MURDER ME.

OH.MY.GOD.

I forgot how rough three is.  Everyone warns you about two.  

Two?  Cake.

Three?  WORMY MUD PIE.

So let us rehash.

In the same day he-

1. Drank his OWN URINE.  Yes.  Yes that is what I said.  When I caught him, and asked him why he was drinking his pee- he looked incredulously at me and said "It's yellow."  Duh mom.

2.  Locked me IN his bedroom with him at nap time.  ON PURPOSE.  Swear to god.  Tucked him in, turned around for the radio, and that's when he jumped up, locked the door, slammed it, and blew a raspberry at me before jumping back into bed.  (We have the locks rotated, so that no child here can ever lock themselves IN a room.  Unless of course mom is in there with you!)

3.  Proceeded to throw toys at me as I tried to heft my grotesquely large swollen body up out of the chair as he wiggles his fingers in his ears at me, while blowing raspberries.

Then there was yesterday.  Where he ran past me at the pool, flinging aside his water wings and aimed for the deep end.  He thought it was hysterical when mommy slipped and fell when she was chasing after him, thus bruising her already sore tail bone (my ass is KILLING ME).

And when he is not busy with all of these glorious pastimes, he is running and hiding from me in the house, which he thinks is just the coolest.  And man! can this boy hide.  Last week he had me in tears, big crocodile tears, because I could not find him.  As I was balling outside on the porch, calling his name, holding up my baby guts, he nonchalantly saunters out-of MY ROOM, where I had just checked nine thousand times!  with his face covered in my BRAND NEW economy sized ($9~) Desitin.

This was the same day that he dumped his BRAND NEW economy sized ($18) bath soap into ONE bath.

This boy is expensive.

So that is what I have been doing; narrowly escaping death at the hands of my three year old.

Nothing new, right?

Now, if I could only read minds....I need to know what he has planned for me when the baby gets here....

xoxo,

J.Danger

p.s.- Tomas- be nice to mommy or I am axing you from my will kiddo!

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

And the Random.org gods have declared that the winner of Miss Cassey Cakes Hair flower clip is- 

#4 is Paula! 

I think it is SO rad that Paula won this one, because she pulled out all the stops for my blog!  I even got her on Twitter!  SCORE!

XOXO,

J.Danger 

Ready....Steady....wait, not so steady...

****DON'T FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY****

I feel like I tell you guys just about everything.  Which, let's face it, is pretty much the story of my life.  But what can you do, eh?

Except, there has been one thing that I have NOT told you all, Internets, that I am going to now. Because it has been confirmed. Possibly.

Ready?

1.  Problem Pregnancy

2. C-Section.

There, I said it.

SCARY AS SHIT.

Don't panic, I am totally fine I assure you, and so is the wee one.  But this pregnancy has kicked my ass.  Is continuing to kick my ass; daily.

I have always been anemic, so that is nothing new, so we are dealing with that.  On top of that I have a prolapsed uterus, which worsens with each pregnancy (sorry fellas!!).  And lets just say that if this uterus of mine prolapses any further, I will pushing out a hysterectomy along with the bean.  And, the baby is breech.  OW.  Walking would be nice, it really would.  At this point, I WANT to exercise.  Anything.  I can't even get up the stairs easily anymore it hurts that bad.  It scares me to be home alone with the boys, because I can't do anything.  Oliver has duly noted this, and runs away from me at every opportunity.  I cry and waddle after him, holding my crotch.  And I am gigantic! Both the boys were large at birth to begin with- #1 was 9.8, and #2 was 10.3.  So hello?!  #3- I'm waging about 12 or 13.  

But now?  Now- gestational diabetes.  Poking myself 5,674 times a day.  Measuring and monitoring EVERYTHING that I eat, drink, or even momentarily chew.  And so far, even following all the rules, I am high all day, then way too low at dinner time.  Makes no sense.  The worse part is that my machine is registered through my doctor's office, so he automatically gets a read out of my counts- so he knows approximately 2.5 seconds later that my count was off.  Awesome.  I have two weeks to get them right, every time, every day, or I need to go back to get on Insulin.

On top of this, I found out way early in my pregnancy that I have active Group B Strep (sorry fellas!!) so I have been dealing with that the whole time too, but now that delivery is looming closer, it has become a bigger issue- particularly paired with the diabetes.

Wow.  I am so awesome.

But here is the thing.  Yesterday, we had "The Talk".  My doctor said it- C-Section.  No big deal right?  I get to plan the date and time, I get to be pretty much knocked out through it, and bingo bango I gotta' new baby.

Right, but then there is the drugs that I will have to take, the anesthesiology, then there is the fact that I will not be in control of my own labor, or my own body for that sake.  Oh, and I won't be able to hold him immediately, let alone breast feed him, or even attempt at bonding with him for roughly four hours.

This is hard for me.  I believe in natural labor and delivery, I support breast feeding, and attachment parenting.  I am a "Natural Mother" whatever the hell THAT means anymore now-a-days.  I have had both of our boys naturally.  No inductions, no pitocin, no nothing.  No epidural, I stay at home until the very last minute, I get to hold him immediately, he latches from the start, and they both room with me the whole time.  

C-section?  I lose all of this.

Don't freak out-  I am NOT attacking you if you have had, or even opted for, C-sections, or if you take as many drugs as possible to forget as much of labor as you can.  Was your baby healthy?  Did you deliver safely?  Then you did your job, successfully, and amen to that!  But this is what I have chosen for me, and my kids, and it breaks my heart that I might not be able to do that this time.  I feel like a failure.

Sometimes pregnancy effing sucks.

xoxo,

J.danger