Who is with me?

Dear Red States:

If you somehow manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave
states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 90% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Peace out,
--Blue States

I told you so-

I am so proud of my girl!

Librarians and nerds alike unite!

I loved her from the start and I am so glad that she won.  Plus- she used sustainable fabric on more than 60% of her pieces, so she is a-ok in my book.  And she looks cute on a tandem bike with Tim Gunn. With a bell!

 Although, I must admit that try as I may, I cannot truly escape my 50's fashion roots.  I loved Kenley's final collection, and would have worn most anything in there (sans the horrible floral 80's poof sleeve dress, yuck!).  But, as much as I liked her clothes, homegirls a bitch.  And if she is this attitudey with this little fame, then imagine how worse it would get as her head span increases!  I mean, it takes a lot of work to make Tim Gunn turn on you!

So, thank god for Pushing Daisies and Netflix, because now there is nothing else on....

T.V., T.V. why have you forsaken me?

xoxo-

J.Danger

The closest I get to drunk dialing...

I will regret this in the morning.  I will, and I know this now.

Midterms start for me next week.  This saturday is my GRE Literature test.  You know, the test in which I need to know oh....EVERYTHING EVER WRITTEN of ANY significance.  That's the one. I had so much fun this weekend with Aunt Susan down, and Saturday with Tomas, and Sunday with the madre, but alas my brain is lacking in the "know everything about everything" department come today.   And leave it to me to plan one of the two most significant tests of my academic career (which lets face, IS my career) the same damn week as midterms.  I mean come on!

Oh- and I just completed a deadline for one of my two research gigs. Kind of got a job from home (yay holiday money!)...oh yes, then there is also the family, with those kids, and that husband, oh and that house....with all that laundry.....

But what can you do right....beats being bored and under stimulated. Right?

Someone tell me I am right...

xoxo-

J.Danger

This Bitch is BROKE!

My dear friend Cassey, aka Mama Cass, is broke. But she is also smart, and she is sooooo dang talented! So- she made a halloween make-up video and entered into a contest over at www.beautychoice.com so that she can win $500 for her adorable little kiddo, whom I dearly love, Cash.

So- go vote for her. Plus, here's the kicker, you don't have to feel bad for voting for her just because I told you to. Trust me, hers really is the best one up.

Here's a picture of what she did!  Oh yeah, and her....

So go vote- get to it!

www.beautychoice.com

Vote for Miss Cassey Cakes!

I promise Cash will all write you thank you cards!

xoxo
Mama Danger

The food you eat-

I don't want to get too political on this site, most of you know how I feel about most things. So instead, I posted this hysterical video that I stole from my friend Jamie!

It's just for the better.

Please excuse the smell...

Our house smelled funny this weekend.  All weekend.

Saturday afternoon it was raining, so everything was locked up and we were all inside.  Which was nice.  Tomas and I played Scrabble, the boys played the piano, I got some work done, and Cory got to hang out with his hetero-life partner (the other one, not me...figure that one out)

But then there was Sunday......

This is what my dear husband looked like on Sunday-

(not my actual dear husband, THANK GOD)

And this is what my sweet little baby boy looked like towards the end of the night...

Why?  Because of this- this god forsaken little gem of a germ-

The Danger Family Funday tradition home wrecker.   No, it is not your run of the mill floozy home wrecker, but alas it is...the influenza.

So we slept it out, sweated it out, and did what we generally do here at the Danger homestead- try to heal at home, and complain a lot.  There were tears, (mostly my own), funny smells, complaints, groans, the usual....

Oh- and lots of nose picking on Oliver's part, which for the most part I let slide because he was not well.

It was delightful....

Because my sister-in-law called

Ok.  So I get it.  In the past week, I have had three different people ask me when I am going to put up all those pictures that I "promised".  Geesh- who knew people still take me at my word! 

So, because I am a lazy, insolent, bon-bon hoarding sloth, and I obviously have nothing else to do all day long, (but mostly because I love my family and love looking at my kiddos, which by default means that YOU must too) I am now officially posting all the damn pictures!

There was a girl over there by Goofy's house that he was just dying to impress.  I think it went well.

Disneyland was a surprise.  Don't you think he looks surprised?!

Oliver was not only surprised, but very very excited.

If ever there is another war (!) I would feel pretty safe with these men.

Ok boys-

What's with the rat faces?  Ahhhh masta Splinter.

Oliver was SO stoked on meeting Mickey that he almost cried.  He got to shake his hand, and he still tells EVERYONE he meets- "Mickey ah shaka' my handa".  He's so proud. (please excuse my gross face- it was SOOOOO hot, it melted off right before this picture! Convenient, I know.)

He was thiiiiiisssss close.

Never fails to stop the tears.  Thank you Mr. Carousel Inventor.  Thank you.

B-E-A-T.

And there you have it.  Loads of Danger Family Fundays.

xoxo-

Mama Danger