Free stuff on Fridays Fools!

Today, because it is Friday, and I need to find something to continually distract you all from the fact that I never really blog on weekends, I am hosting another give away!

This week I am giving away the cutest. shirt. EVER!

This is a shirt that was made by a local artist out here named Jamie Agius.  She is totally low key and super hip!  I kinda dig her.

In fact, she is so low key that she doesn't even have a website!  You can email her to get one of your own at rnroutlaw@gmail.com.

Even her email is cool!

Here is the shirt that I am giving away, hopefully to YOU, this weekend.  

It has a hand stitched patch on it, with this awesome print of a sugar skull.

It is so cute!

It is a size 4 American Apparel long sleeve black shirt.

So- now that you are drooling with delight, and chomping at the bit for this shirt, here's what you need to do to try to get it.

In my comment section, I want you to tell me what your favorite home cookin' style meal was, or still is for that matter.  What did your mom cook you that you still crave every once and a while?  What do you wish you knew how to make but never asked mom for the recipe for?

You tell me...and I dress your kids....

Deal?

My son fell in love with a man today.

A man with a guitar.  A folk singer with a guitar.  He is still swooning from it.

The day care that the boys attend threw a friends and family festival tonight and it was actually super cool.  They had hot dogs (turkey) and all kinds of food.  There was a bounce

house, and each room was responsible for their own game.  Tomas' room planned "bobbing for apples"-

Can you imagine the various combinations of child slobber in there?!

Whatever, Tom was stoked-

 

Oliver's room planned a ring toss of sorts-

He's like totally going pro-

It was fun, the boys had a lot of fun, and Oliver fell in love with the folk singer.

For a brief two hours, it made me forget that my husband is far far away from me....

Maybe the folk singer is free-

No, I couldn't do that to Oliver.  But I bet he hates Florida right now too. 

Back to school, back to school...

So I am back- kind of.  I am still soooo out of it.  I can't take my pain killers at school (who made THAT rule up?!) so I load up on them once I get home.

Today was my first official day back in school!  I am so excited.  Oh yea- here is my disclaimer- I am going to totally geek out here for a minute.  Sorry folks.

Yesterday I met with my department head at school.  During our meeting he suggested that I start an Honors Reading Group.  Me!  He wants me to do it!  Totally rad.  So I am going to do it and it is going to be the raddest reading group ever.  Better than yours at least!  I am going to base it on the female post colonial identity.  You can ask me about it someday.  You know you want to.

Also, I was given a lead for a research assistant gig through a top notch professor that is studying at Cambridge right now.  She is working on a project that deals with 19th century Brit Lit and Gender studies (a.k.a EXACTLY what I want to study in Grad school).  Well, guess who got the position?

That's right folks!

So yes, it is a ton of work and I will be the first to admit that it is absolutely insane of me to take on these two huge jobs on top of all the classes I am enrolled in.  Oh yeah, and the family and all...but what can you do?  And it makes me happy.  And it will get me paid in Grad school.  Hell, it will get me IN Grad school. Period. 

Side note- I looked like a moron all day today.  My jaw is still really swollen and bruised from the horrible root canal that caused this huge bout of TMJ.  Plus, I am pretty sure that no one could understand me and were just agreeing with me to humor me.

Oh well.  I got what I needed! 

Tomas goes back to school next week.  The fifth grade!  Holy Cow!  And in roughly two weeks he will be ten years old.  I can't believe it.

Here's what else I can't believe- how incredibly obnoxious pre-teens are!  

Here is another disclaimer- I LOVE my kids, and I LOVE Tomas.  That said- what the hell is wrong with pre-teens?!  No son, you can't have a cell phone.  No son, you can't have your own private unmonitored email address.  No, you can't say crap.  I don't care how many of your friends have one/use one/say it/ stole it/are hiding it from their parents.

And while we are at it- what is with all the questions?!  What I am doing you ask?  ADULT STUFF.

What's that?  What am I eating?  WHATEVER I WANT.  I'M AN ADULT.

What's that you say?  Oh you already knew that?  Oh that's right, you know everything.  Already.  By ten years old.  I totally forgot.

Geesh!

How do you survive this?  If this is any precursor to teens, I am so screwed.

Screwed.

Tell Everyone-

Cory and I went to see a really awsome French film a few weeks back called "Tell No One". I really loved it. Today I found a review for it on NPR-



http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93522536#share





Check it out! Then go see it...



xoxo-

J.Danger

The gig is up...

Someone emailed me yesterday asking me why in the world are all of the blogs on my blog roll about reading and cooking?

Well, I couldn't possibly have a life outside of my kids and husband right?!

Wrong. The gig, my friends, is up.

All of the blogs listed on my blog roll are about reading and cooking because my friends, my dear readers (all 4 or so of you) I am.......

a total nerd.

And you know what? That is perfectly fine in my book!

So here is the truth, plain and straight-

The name is Jessica. I have two kids and a dear husband, all three of which I adore. I am, first and foremost, a wife and mother. But after that....

I read. More than any person should ever read. (Is that possible?! What am I saying here?)

I cook, a lot. I just recently refined the art of NOT burning everything that enters my oven, so I am kind of on a roll here folks. Feel free to cheer me on accordingly.

I had our oldest son in high school, and I while I don't recommend it (DON'T DO IT) I also wouldn't have it any other way.

Because I had our oldest son in high school, it has taken me nearly ten years to get my B.A in English, with an emphasis on Literature. But I am almost done, and have a graduation date set.
I am already looking at Grad school and my prospects are looking good.

I am working om my senior thesis/Grad school writing sample. In a nutshell it it based on Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso Sea with a focus on the importance placed on a woman's inheritance and also Feminist Theory and Postcolonial Theory. Thats enough for now, but I am so excited about it. If you want to hear more about it you can email me. I have no problem talking about it! (p.s. FOR HOURS!)

I am so cool that I am usually in bed by ten p.m., although I am trying so hard to change that because I need those hours for studying. I just can't help myself! I love sleeping. Actually, I just love my bed. I could (and try to) be in bed all day. Not even really just sleeping, thats where I work a lot too. It's a nice bed...

I am the clutziest person ever, despite the fact that, or maybe because of, I have gigantic feet! I have lost track of how many times I have fallen down our stairs.

I LOVE Scrabble. And Mah Jong.

I will read just about anything. Just about...

I cry during movies. And I have to have popcorn at the theatre.

I have a penchant for cardigans.

I am often mistaken for a librarian, but that secretly makes me happy. (if its a HOT librarian!)

I just learned how to play Gin Rummy.

I have a hard time reading more than one book at a time.

I have the worse case of Stayhomeitis ever.

I am weird about germs, public restrooms, restaurants that don't have good lighting (what are they hiding?) and being in large loud crowds.

I love listening to all kinds of music. But I am terrible at remembering music information. Like band names, song names, album names. Thats what I married my husband for- he's like a walking music encyclopedia.

I love art, particularly sketch, graphic and street art.

I am heavily tattooed, much to my mother's dismay, which always throws people for a loop. (before it was trendy jerks) People usually assume that I am a. stupid, b. a hoodlum, c. a horrible parent. I am none of those things. Or am I????

I have walked into poles while reading, driven into a pole while daydreaming, and one time I even tripped over a pole. Still not sure how, but I did it.


So there you have it folks. I am not as cool as I try to portray.

I cook and read. That is why I have a blogroll full of cooking and reading blogs.

My kids think I am cool, but I only got like two more years outta that one with Tomas before I am totally uncool.

BUT GUESS WHAT!

I have a ton of new stuff coming up with This Dangerous Life! I have got some great guest posts lined up that are just way cooler than I could ever pretend to be...and...wait for it.......

SOME GIVEAWAYS!

Yep, nothing is better than free stuff! Free is way better than cheap.

So stay tuned...

and lets just pretend that you still think I am super cool.

Drugs and Goop

Time lines are always helpful, no?

They help in crime cases, whodunits, party planning, meal preparation, lots of things. Here is my timeline for yesterday, in case I ever get caught in the middle of a glaring whodunit. And luckily for me, and now for you too, I am a total text message whore so I have a real documented time line. Take THAT coppers!

4:00 p.m.- Finally suffering enough back pain to convince my stubborn mom instincts that my health is indeed just as important as my boys, and that I do indeed need to go to Urgent Care before I claw out my eyeballs, throw them at YOU, and sucker punch my boss.

4:18- I arrive at Urgent Care. It is full of people! Everywhere. You know what else it is filled with? GERMS. Everywhere! I enter the waiting room, try not to touch ANYTHING, and attempt to hold my breath for my entire visit.

4:19- Exhale loudly, gasping for breath, red faced and thank my husband for always being the one that takes the kids to this god forsaken germ fest when needed (shit! did I just jinx myself?! I'm sorry boy-os!)

4:21- I get called in to the nurse's station. WOW! That was quick. Yep, it was also too good to be true because they sent me right back out with the doom filled message that I can expect to wait two whole hours before being seen. However, the nurse was kind enough to tell me that if I wanted to go walk around Target they are having a back to school sale. I'm sorry- did you not read my chart- you know, the one you are holding?! Right this second...the one that says I am here because I can barely bloody move?! And I am supposed to walk? To Target?! What the hell lady!

4:22- now I am pissed, but I go back to holding my breath.

4:45- Husband calls about what to make for dinner

4:47- Husband calls again- Canola Oil or vegetable oil? Does it matter?

5:45- Husband calls to tell me that I am never allowed to come back home because apparently when I am not home for dinner the kids are just angels, food tastes better, the dishes wash themselves, and world peace abounds.

6:15- I have finished this book-

I feel remarkably more intelligent than before I got there. I also feel remarkably more 1. ill, 2. frustrated 3. irritated 4. my ass is killing me 5. hungry 6. what the hell is that man staring at me for?! 7. why won't this kid stop staring at my arms?! 8. what the hell is that god damn buzzing sound?!

6:16- I found an apple in my purse. Gotta love mom purses!

6:49- I am in a room!

7:00- waiting.....

7:10- still effing waiting....

7:30 Doctor finally comes in. Reminds me of a weird hybrid of Bill Nye the Science Guy and Mr. Rogers. Talks to me like I am five years old, tells me my last doctor was wrong, and so I have been working in vain for months to make this better in the first damn place!

7:35- Finally diagnonsense- Lower Lumbar Strain (No shit).

7:37- His prescription- take a few days off your feet and go in the hot tub a minimum of twice a day (I'm sorry. Here- lets play a game. It will be tons of fun! We will call it "Let's Compare How Much You, Mr. Doctor, Make with How Much I, Mrs. Perpetual Student Makes, and See Which One of Us This Prescription Works For). I tell him that this prescription, although the best effing idea on the planet, will not work for me.

7:40- I am picking up my painkillers from the pharmacy!

8:00- Dear husband kept the kids up so that I could at least say hello, oh! and let them know that I wasn't dead, that too

8:10- Oliver is screaming bloody murder in bed with Dad, I am reading with Tomas in his room. Oh, what a delightful little mommy and son moment. Reading in bed, oh how cute! Let me be so moved by the Rockwell-esque moment that I caress your hair in a motherly manne- WHAT THE HELL IS IN YOUR HAIR TOMAS?!

"What? Oh we were playing at *****y's and I put on his army man helmet and it was just a teeny tiny little bit sticky. Do you think I should take a shower?

What the hell Tomas?! Of course I think you should take a shower- there is some sort of a dead animal plastered into your hair! Get in there now and don't touch anything! ever!

9:15- Tomas is in bed, crying about the world ending over this total injustice, with three rounds of shampoo in his hair, two rounds of dish soap, an entire bottle of baby oil, $17 conditioner (mine!), 5 pounds of mayonnaise, and some sort of a dead animal plastered into his hair.

All delicately covered underneath a beanie.

Now. WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PAINKILLERS?!

Weekend Wrap Up

This weekend was pretty dang awesome!

Tomas came home on Saturday, safe and sound! But man, was he stinky! He was so filthy- I swear to you that his clothes were stiff. Ewwww gross. Man, when is Mr. Danger gonna give me some of them baby girl Dangers?!

This week we were able to spend some time with Nealy before she went back to New York, and it was a ton of fun for Oliver. We took him to peruse the Spectrum, and by peruse I mean run around screaming and dancing like a maniac. Nanny bought him a new Cars hat- which he has refused to take off since then- as well as a new Molly Train- which he has refused to let go of since. Update- we are thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss close to nailing the alphabet. I'm trying...i'm trying reallllllll hard.

Yesterday we took the boy-os to the Natural History Museum to see the "live" Dinosaurs. Here is how it went down-

The baby Triceratops walks in....

Oliver runs the hell out screaming bloody murder with nanny. Poor Nanny cruises the Ornithological society section with the baby. For an hour!

Tomas is doing his thing, watching the triceratops, when he starts jiggling...and bouncing...now he's crossing his legs at the ankles...still bouncing....finally holding himself and grimacing.

Me- Tomas do you have to go to the restroom?

Tomas- Yea, but I dont want to miss the T-Rex.

Me- We can run to the bathroom and get back in time to be here for Thomas the T-Rex.

Right about here is where you can go ahead and insert a mental image of a grown (eh, kinda) woman running through a museum with her oldest son who is holding himself and trying to run at the same time. It should also be noted that we ran right past a bathroom, and totally missed it. We looked... like morons people.

We run back, we get cozy, the triceratops is still there. We're totally good.

Tomas- Mom, can we go? This is pretty boring.

What?! What the hell Tomas?! This is the ONLY reason we drove all the way out to L.A. was to see the T-Rex. And it's BORING?! Jesus!

At least we got to revisit USC. We gently reminded Tomas (7 times) that if he wants to be a dentist this is where he will be going to school (like he would even want to go out of state, away from his dear mother!)...so keep those grades up...look how pretty it is...oh, I mean manly and handsome...

(internal- and damn expensive!)

But dentists make a ton of money right?

And isn't there that dental law that says you have to always take care of and/or financially and emotionally support your mother once you are huge and successful?

Yea, I am pretty sure it's in the fine print.

Operation Laundry

Tomas has been gone all week. (oops, sorry! I made it almost one whole day!) So how is it exactly that all of our hampers are still overflowing with a smorgasboard of stinky men/youngmen/toddler clothes?! Even Tomas has an overflowing hamper, and he is not even here!

What the hell guys!

Oliver has this new habit of storing "treasures" in his pockets. Why do they even give toddlers pockets? For their wallets? Really?!

Here is what I found yesterday in his teeny tiny babykin pockets-

4 clothing tags (he forces me to cut them off, but them keeps them. He rubs them adoringly through the day. Why?)

3 small grey pebbles

1 ball of rolled up red string

1 (originally was a ) breadstick

32 cents (ka-ching! Housekeeping IS profitable!)

House rule- mom keeps the money she find when doing the laundry. It's my sur-charge.

Today I received one of the highest compliments ever. A dear family friend of ours claimed that my writing style reminds her of Erma Bombeck.

I was flabbergasted!

Here is a link to an amazing website of hers-
http://www.ermamuseum.org/home.asp

With that- here is a quote of hers that I love (and you know me and quotes!)-

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.' "

Have a good day dearies!

xoxo,
J.Danger

The Bus

Here is Cha-Cha, on the infamous bus.





This will be my last post on Tommy being gone at camp, I promise.

Oh but did I tell you? He will be entering the double digit birthdays in a month.

ONE MONTH.

TEN YEARS OLD.

DOUBLE DIGITS.

OH NO.

An Open Letter to the Guy Sitting Next to Me on Saturday

Dear Sir,

First of all, the fact that you showed up to take the G.R.E almost an hour late, speaks as a testament to your seriousness as a student. It is the G.R.E. pal! If I can get there on time with two kids, two turtles, and a husband...at 8 a.m....on a SATURDAY so can you! Frankly, I do not think that they should have let you in at all. You distracted EVERYBODY. You know, all those people that got there ON TIME and were CONCENTRATING! Ya, that'd be us. Not you.

Let's move on. Your cologne. Or bodywash, soap, aftershave, or nine and three-quarters gallons of cheap body spray- it stunk. SOOOO bad. I understand that you were attempting to smell nice, and hence improve your self confidence, thus scoring higher on the G.R.E. Of course, it makes total sense. You know what doesn't make total sense? Wearing so much of it that you kill every insect that you walk past!

So you're taking your test right? Here is what I hear from you, two feet away from me.

You- "hmmmmm, immutable.......what does that mean....hmmmm....im...mut...able.....WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!"
Me- (only in my head, where it is QUIET, because we are all TESTING) "unchangeable, asshole!"

But apparently you did ok at the verbal, because you made it to the quantitative portion. What you say? How do I know? Here is how I know-

You-"wait wait....x= 1/3 y....so no....an equilateral triangle....three sides....four angles? Wait, what was x? Oh no.....hmmmm....."

Thats how I knew.

Luckily for me, the testing center supplies you with big orange hunting ear muffs to drown out all sound from around you. What I mean by that is, all of the annoying mumbling sitting next to you. So I reach up to grab my headpones, to the right of me- like EVERY OTHER STATION IN THE ROOM- and you are WEARING THEM! And yours, well they are just sitting there, to the right of you, calling me, beckoning me with their silence and their ability to drown YOU out. But I can't get them. So instead I just gaze lovingly at them, and then glare angrily at YOU, at which point you catch me in mid glare, so you glare back.

So I go back to my test.

my next word was "Gormless".

It was fitting.

As I promised....

Here is Tomas getting ready to leave on the bus.  Doesn't he just scream "Camper"?!

This is the photo I gave to his cabin mate in preparation of the next seven early mornings for them.  You have been warned our dear sweet Jaxon.

Gone Baby, Gone...

Tomas left for camp yesterday.

I did not cry. In front of him at least...

It was very hard. Fortunately for me, it was even harder for Oliver. He was screaming bloody murder while Tomas left.

"Myyyyy busssssss, no cha cha bus, myyyyyyy busssssssssss, no cha cha bye bye bus!"

He was not pleased that his beloved Cha Cha was going anywhere without him.

So we took him to Nanny's, where she spoiled him rotten for the day. Merely to bring reprieve from Oliver missing Cha Cha of course. She took him to the (dreaded) toy store to get him his own dear dear bus. Too bad for Oliver, the bus did not contain his Cha Cha. He decided to keep it anyway.

Cory and I went to the movies. ALONE! It (required a TON of effort and way more time than deemed necessary) was so much fun. We saw "Tell No One", and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Much to my surprise, (oops) it was subtitled. I thought for sure that Cory was going to get up and demand that we leave, but he was a good sport. He even admitted to enjoying it also.

I took the GRE on Saturday. I did very well. But for those of you that know me, very well is not the same as "the best ever". So I am taking it again in a few weeks.

Maybe the studying will keep my mind off of Tomas...away...at camp...for a week...

(pictures to follow....I killed the camera...I think it might have been the salt from my gigantic emotional charged mom tears)

Some goats and the kids,with Jane Eyre, oh and camp

So the kids had a petting zoo come out to the school yesterday. Oliver has not stopped talking about the animals. It was like he was on speed this morning!

Me--"Good morning Bug!"
BB--"GOOD MORNING MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me--"Hows it going?"
BB--"SHEEP! GOATS! THE CHICKENS! BUCK BUCK BUCK! OH AND GOATS! GOATS GOATS GOATS! goat goat goat (goats make the sound 'goat' and thats it)
Me--"Wow Oliver thats amaz-"
BB--"CHICKENS! BUCK BUCK BUCK LOOK MOM! BUCK BUCK BUCK...LOOK!(animated hand movements) LLAMAS (INSERT SPIT HERE) OH AND GOATS AND BUNNIES. BUNNIES BUNNIES BUNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIES!"
Me--"Gosh Oliver it sounds like your still excited for-"
BB--"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GOATS!"

It was amazing! I was tired just listening to him. Then when Daddy dropped them off at Day Care there was a bounce house today. Let the torrent of exciteable screams begin again. Unfortunately for the poor sap walking out of the building when Oliver was walking in, he was a wee bit dramatic. Oliver totally stopped, squatted, stared the guy dead in the eyes, and screamed at him "BOUNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOOOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE!" The gentleman ran away equally screaming.

I heard it was amazing.

Tomas is going away for camp. For his first time. He will be gone for...hold it...wait for it... ONE WHOLE WEEK! Now, before we get all slap happy, the husband and I will not be able to party it up for this week. We still have number two, and jobs, and school, and have to be upstanding adults. But it will be nice to not be jam packed with Drake appointments five days a week, and therapy, so that will be a great break. Also, Nealy is home visiting (yes!) so maybe the husband and I can squeeze in a date night. We'll see.

But back to the point-

What the hell am I going to do for a week?! Besides worry and imagine a series of imminent doom and disaster involving my son while he is hours away and I am totally out of control of the situation?! What the hell? How do parents (insert "moms" here) do this? Oh my god, what will I do for college?! He just cant go. Done.

Speaking of college- I have almost forgotten for the summer that I am still in college! School starts back up for me in three weeks and I am so eager to go back. Except for one little problem- I am so sticking behind it is not even laughable. And don't think for one red hot minute that it was due to laziness. Because it was NOT! I have been so busy this summer, I have just fallen short. And I am mad disappointed in myself.

So today at work I am reading Jane Eyre while I process my files. Or trying to really. I am doing an independent study on Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso Sea pertaining to gender inequity. The result will be both my senior thesis (40 pages! What the hell?!) and also my graduate entry writing sample. So it is big time. I need to get going.

I had forgotten how much I LOVE Jane Eyre though. Here are some of my favorite quotes-

"Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last".

"If people were always kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust; the wicked people would have it all their own: they would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would grow worse and worse".

"It is not violence that best overcomes hate - nor vegeance that most certainly heals injury".

"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends".

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it".

"I don't think, sir, that you have a right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience". (Hello gender inequity!)

I could go on and on, but I know that not everyone loves Jane Eyre like I do. (Heathens!)

Side note- Cory is doing so well at work right now, and I am so very proud of him! Big things folks, big things!

xoxo-
J.Danger

Camping Pictures

Please be kind to me, we were camping. I mean who really looks that good in the wild?!  I mean, come on, really?

There were lots of tall trees to stand under

And plenty of Danger Family Dance offs, most of which Oliver won

Waiting for Smores

Card games galore and the table of doom

Brothers! They had a lot of fun.

I have more pictures,  but it takes so long to put them up.  Blah! The camping part was way more fun!

xoxo,

J.Danger

Waddup G?

So this weekend was our camping extravaganza, and an extravaganza it was! It started out well, we left on time, and only lost one thing out of the back of the truck on the 5 (thats a record!). We knew we were good when we didn't pass the 91 east on ramp (also a record for Cory and I). Then, we arrived in Riverside (enough said already) to pick up our camper. We were told when picking the camper up that they would require a $500 deposit, cash or money order ONLY. Suspicious? I was. Immediately. But we were stuck. And it was HOT! The kids were hungry, thirsty, and ready to be camping already. So we packed them back up,found a bank, and bought a money order. WITH A VERIFIABLE RECEIPT. When we get back to the camper we were told of all 57,004 hidden fees we were now going to be charged. Fine. Whatever, please lets just go.

We went.

Friday was delightful! We got to our campsite and the boys actually helped set up. Tomas rode his bike for "recon" and Oliver tried to follow him around on his tricycle. We changed and went to the lake, which was beautiful (remember this) had dinner, smores, everything was fine. Bedtime was a breeze (thank you honey), for the baby at least.

Lets talk about the bed situation for a red hot minute. Or two sleepless nights, either way works.

There were two pop out beds. The larger one held a weight limit of precisely my husband's weight. So i'm out. The second pop out bed is so unsafe that the children can roll entirely OUT of the back of the camper if they move too far to the side. There was a third teeny tiny bed that was comprised out of two cushions, that absolutely no one would be able to sleep on. Unless you were a troll, and trolls are creepy anyway so who the hell would camp with trolls? The last bed was the bed that was a table. The table was broken so it would not stand up, and then when it was lying down it would not lay flat, so the whole bed was lop sided. So- Tomas slept in the dangerous bed with a giant wall of cushions and pillows to cut off the "cliff bed", Oliver slept in the lopsided table bed of doom, Cory slept in the large cozy yet incredibly noisy pop out bed. Everyone is good right? Oh wait, there are four people in this family....so who's missing....odd.

That about sums up the camper of death. Oh that and the sink leaked (and by leaked I mean flooded EVERY SINGLE TIME), the fridge did not work, the screen had a hole in it (hello flies and critters), the pop out shade was in-op, I can go on and on. Needless to say, when we dropped it off on Sunday, the owners did not meet us at the lot with our deposit (the one that is TRACEABLE!) nor have they been answering our phone calls. This is gonna be great! I promise you- like I promised my dear dear patient husband, we will get that money back. Oh yes.

Anyway- saturday we ate and got ready for a day at the lake. Packed an ice chest, Cory spent a ton of money on new fun water toys and what nots cuz we couldn't get a boat, and we headed out.

Holy shit. When did Silverwood lake become the gansta' gansta' meeting grounds?! Let me assure you, I grew up in the ghetto. I get it, I am not squeamish or over-reactionary when it comes to this. I know gang culture; when to panic and when to not. This my fine friends, was nearing a panic situation.

I do not think it was coincidental that there were gigantic men with lots of prison ink swimming in blue trunks, that all "forgot" to remove the blue bandanas from around their neck. After one of their kids "accidentally" punched my oldest in the chest while "swimming" Cory and decided we needed to leave. Like now, like grab the kids and run and get the hell out of here now!

Which was fine because it was so effing face melting hot and there was no wind, and or shade anywhere. Oh, and the lake? Totally effing neon green with algae and filth. NEON. Hence all the neat little intestinal trouble causing friends that we all brought home. We were done. DONE.

But thats ok, because the rest of saturday was so much fun! Cory and the baby took a nap so Tomas and I went exploring. We found a bike trail, a nature hike, an ampitheater, and we just hung out together. Cory, Tomas and I played card games galore, and we even had a make shift session of Danger Family Dinner theater in the empty site next to us. We had a marshmallow face stuffing contest (Cory won with 9, and some puke) but Tomas came in close with 6 (no puke), and Oliver tried his hardest with two! So cute!

All in all, a good time was had by all. No one was hurt, no major sun burns, everyone came out ok and Cory and came home feeling all crunchy granola-y and Earthy, and like we were ok parents after all. (Take that nay sayers!) The funny thing was that the baby got hurt afterwards, at home! Go figure. But that's another post. Tomorrow?

We have pictures. They are at home, but I am not. I am at work. Getting paid for all my efforts. Blogging efforts that is!

I will post the pictures later!

Have a good day dearies!

xoxo,
J.Danger