a search that has gone into overdrive, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

Ok. Here's the thing. My nana watched us, all of us, every day forEVER when we were kids (but if a man in a suit ever came by, or a lady with a clipboard, we were all just coincidentally wound up at Nana's house at the same time....shhhhhh.....).This is in fact where I picked up reading I believe. My nana is a notorious reader! She loves mystery- King, Koontz, all of them, and all of the Anne Rice novels. The best part?

She would let me read them! At the ripe old age of like, 7, but whatever...

She would hide all the juicy books under her bed (The Joy of Sex anyone? I read it at like 9), with her big bag of chocolate chips, both of which I freely helped myself to.

This was where I watched, and re-watched, and re-watched, The Lost Boys.

.....AND......

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.

But, alas! I must have the raddest nana ever, because apparently I am the ONLY person on the entire freaking PLANET that has seen this movie!

Cory thinks that I have just plain made it up.

The rest just kind of stare at me. Blankly.

Hello?! EMILIO ESTEVEZ IS LIKE 2 YEARS OLD IN IT!

The joker? The Pepsi machine straight shot to the balls?! THE STEAM ROLLER?!

Anybody? Somebody?

Damn Santa clearly has not ever heard of it either because it wasn't in my stocking.

Bastard!

xoxo,
J.Danger

FLAWLESS; A Review

Flawless; Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History
By Scott Andrew Selby and Greg Campbell

My literary companion, Iris Blasi, over at Sterling Publishers (HERE!) sent me an ARC copy of this little gem a few weeks ago. A true story- based on a man named Leonardo Notarbartolo (go ahead, say it out loud. It is SO MUCH FUN!) who planned and executed the largest diamond heist in history. He makes it sound so easy, it has led me to believe that perhaps I am traveling down the wrong career path. I kid, I kid....

Here's what others are saying about this diamond in the rough-

"Part whodunit, part mob tell-all, part diamond underworld reportage, FLAWLESS is simply too good to miss.”—Ulrich Boser, THE GARDNER HEIST

FLAWLESS "take[s] the genre of true crime to a new level."-- Douglas Preston & Mario Spezi, co-authors of THE MONSTER OF FLORENCE

"Handle with discretion—you might be up all night reading.”—Tom Zoellner, author of THE HEARTLESS STONE and URANIUM

My oldest son, who is 11, asked me this morning if I had finished the book. I told him I had, and he asked to borrow it! This amazes me. However, it also makes me wonder- should I be letting him read this book?

YES!

You can polish up your goods over on the FLAWLESS Facebook page (I can keep going with the diamond puns, I got allllll night). Or, read about it here, or here, and then buy it here.

XOXO,
J.Danger

Hummingbirds; A Review

Nope. Sorry, try again. But how rad would that be- if I really wrote a review of hummingbirds?!

"Yes, the quick moving little bird came up to my window and spoke to me in the early morning silence. But really, he was just hungry."

Awesome.


This is a review on Hummingbirds. THE NOVEL. By Joshua Gaylord.

COULD.NOT.PUT.IT.DOWN.

The end.

Loved it. Here are some quotes that I dog eared (but not really if the library asks, because I follow the library guidelines 100%!)

"They open a book to a page, and all they see are stupid little black ants marching across- until you begin to talk about it, and then you can hear the bombs going off in their heads. You make that writing dance. And their eyes get all lit up with burning."

"Adulthood feels like empty rooms with clocks ticking. It feels like being at home and suddenly becoming aware of the refrigerator when the motor shuts off. It feels like staring at the ceiling or straightening pictures or listening for the mailman."

This is the story of a man, Binhammer, English teacher/teen heartthrob extraordinaire, and a year in his life teaching at the Casey-Carmine School for Girls. Binhammer- who you can't help but love, and Ted Hughes, who you can't help but feel sorry for, meet their match with two young ladies- Dixie Doyle, who you just want to throttle, and Liz Warren, who I think I want to be friends with, or mother- I'm still not sure.

Gaylord's words kind of float along in your eyeballs, feeding you the story like fish food flakes- half dissolution, half absorption. His characters, even the annoying alliterative ones, stayed with me long after I closed the book, reminding me that they were there waiting for me to finish their story.

Ironically enough, Gaylord himself teaches at an Upper East Side Prep school. If teaching the elite is anything like this, I could happily work in this profession for the rest of my life.

His website states "Hummingbirds chronicles a year in the life of the Carmine-Casey School for Girls, a prep school on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Part Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and part Virgin Suicides, the novel offers a dual perspective on the intimate, tempestuous and frequently incestuous private school community."

You can get it here or from your local library. And you should.

Now, if you'll excuse me....I have some page ironing to do.

XOXO,
J.Danger

The Dewey Tree

I don't know how many of you know this, but a large part of my chest piece is based on Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree. It took many many mannnnnyyyyy long hours to do, but is one of my absolute favorite pieces hands down.

Well, here is another aspect of my life right now that is inspired by The Giving Tree. My pal over at The Online Publicist, Lisa, has set up a program called The Dewey Tree, inspired by the beloved book blogger that we lost earlier this year. Dewey is the brains behind The Read-a-Thon, Weekly Geeks, and The Bookworms Carnival. Dewey loved books and she loved passing books on to other people that need them.

So. Here is what you do-
*Gather up the books you can live without. It can be 4 books, 10 books, or 20 books!
*Find a worthy group you would like to donate your overflow books to. It can be your local library, a literacy campaign (mine will go to the literacy center I volunteer for), or overseas. There's a great list of book donation sites here on the ALA. Find a charity that speaks to you!
*Then take a picture of your donation and email it to me (onlinepublicist [AT] gmail [DOT] com). It can be a pic of the mailing label on your package, one of your kids giving a box of books to a librarian, or you handing books over to your literacy center. Be creative and have fun!

She will accept pics (and will post her lovely favorites) until January 4, 2010. At that time, she will enter the names of all who sent donation pics into Random.org and choose three. Those three winners will receive custom totes handmade with love by Lisa! She will email you pics of her available fabric and have you custom build one you like.

If you want more info, go check out her site HERE.

Totally awesome.

I already donated mine, this morning. I dropped off a bag full of books and other snacks, treats, and personal care products to my local City Hall to be shipped to Marines over seas. They also have a Food Bank center collection there, so I was able to feed two birds with one trip. Ha!

Go do it! And by all means, if books aren't your thing (WHAT?!) then find another way to help somehow this year. There are thousands out there right now that need it more than you do.

XOXO,
J.Danger

Review - The Evolution of an Identity

The Evolution of an Identity
Indian American Immigrants from the Early 20th Century to the Present
A Fictional Family History

by Diya Das

In my junior year of college a woman in one of my Postcolonial Literature classes I shared her story of how she felt as though she was a traitor. Her problem, she explained, was that if she told people that she was American, then she was a traitor to her Indian heritage. If she told people that she was Indian, then she is a traitor to her American heritage. That is her story of immigrant assimilation- constant limbo.

I was constantly reminded of this classmate while reading Diya Das and The Evolution of an Identity. The Evolution of an Identity is published by Tribute Books, and tells one person's narration of an attempt at assimilation in America, in reverse. What is most amazing to me is that Das is remarkably young for such an ambitious narratology. The book opens with "This novel was the result of an honors project for an American studies course during my junior year of high school". Yes; high school. As though not ambitious enough, Das offers the disclaimer "for the present, the most recent version must remain the product of a high school junior's mind and hands" as though it were not good enough to take full fledged credit as a novel.

Das is wrong. It is more than good enough.

Das transcribes a binder full of notes, taking over the course of a little under a year, of one family's remarkable story and culture. Aware of the importance of this project, Das concedes that "I would like this alum to survive, so that it might become a repository of family history for my own descendants".

The novel is separated into three major portions- The First Wave, The Second Wave- Settling In, Post 1965 Chicago and Generation X: A Separate Identity New York City 2005.


In the first wave, the first of the migratory Indians, who traveled to Northern California for agricultural work, are summarized. Some examples are Lala Har Dayal and Taraknath Das, both well known Hindus who studied at Stanford. Lala Har Dayal founded the Ghadr Party,whose aim was to gain Indian independence from Great Britain, in 1912.


In the second wave, Das high lights the growing gap between migratory generations. Such gaps are clear with a statement like this that opens the section; “The first Indian immigrants and the post-1965 Indian immigrants are two separate worlds. It is a class thing. They came from the farming, the lower class. We [come] from the educated middle-class. We [speak] English. We went to college. We were already assimilated in India
before we came here.”- Indian immigrant, post-1965

The last section, Generation X, is where Das, and millions of other Indian immigrants live now. This too can be blanketed with this quote; “So not quite Indian, and not quite American. Usually I felt more along the lines of Alien...The only times I retreated to one or the other description were when my peers didn’t understand me (then I figured it was because I was too Indian) or when my family didn’t get it (clearly because I was too American).”83 - Dimple Lala, Born Confused

Still humbly modest about this great project, seen to fruition by publication, Das states "this snapshot of my family’s experience in the United States does not seem a significant achievement". A small book, 92 pages, with a large story, the story of how Indians have assimilated into American culture.

The Evolution of an Identity can be found here.
J.Danger

Floridian Foot Funk....oh, and Turkey

Happy Thanksgiving All!

We went to Florida again this year. It went remarkably smooth. The children enjoyed themselves, the family enjoyed themselves, everyone had a great time!

Except you'd never know it.

Because, can you believe it- I never packed my camera?!

What's that? You CAN believe it?

Ya, I know...I don't blame you.

This was the first time that I have made this family trip and not had to schlep around all my school work. I brought not one ounce of work with me! Well, that is not true. I needed to finish an article that I was freelancing, which I did, but other than that- zip, zero, zilch. Nada.

It was remarkable!

No one was sun burnt, no one threw up, no one was kicked out of any public places, no one broke anything....I mean really- I am still waiting for something terrible to happen. Just because that's how it works.

#2 got to bring home a super cool metal Thomas the Train bucket and shovel set. #3 got to bring home a sweet upset stomach. And #1? Well, he went all out and brought home a raging bacterial infection in his coral pocked foot.

I'd show you how cool it looks, except, well....I don't have my camera.

XOXO,
J.Danger

Just some technical mumbo jumbo

I totally hate to do this to you all, but I have been bombarded by SpamBots these past few weeks. So, I am using Captchas. I know, I know...DOWN WITH THE CAPTCHAS!!!!  I feel ya, but there are only so many times that I can delete "I like such topics as this. Very good very infaermattiion for me to have learrrned" before I gouge my eyes out!

XOXO,

J.Danger

Gettin Sappy and Taking Shit for Granted

I miss Anissa.  I miss her bewbs.  I miss her random texting me in the middle of the night.  I miss her hitting on big bird just to tell me she did it and I missed it.

I know that I am only one in 5 gazillion people that Anissa effects in life, and that there are hundreds out there that are in much more pain than I could even imagine.

Like her family.

Her gorgeous kids.

Her dear husband.

I feel for them.

I was talking to my husband about the whole thing, and it hit me- holy shit, do I take my life for granted or what?!

I do.

I can't imagine what I would do if something ever happened to Cory. Or- heaven forbid- the kids. And here is Peter, who falls into both of those categories. What a strong strong man.

Yesterday Cory stayed home with the kids because I had a job interview.  Then, when I got a last minute writing assignment, he stayed home and COOKED AN ENTIRE TURKEY for me, basting it every thirty minutes so it wouldn't dry out.

He put all the kids to bed for me, bathed them, fed them, tucked them in and kissed them.

Then, the man stayed up just to see how my gig went, to talk to me, and then- to tuck me in too, only to keep working in his office till I have no idea what hour.

I love this man. And I swear to god- if he so much even THINKS about getting sick on me, or so much as GLANCES at a motorcycle...so help me god...

When Cory Proposed

Our anniversary is coming up. I like to watch this every once in a while....

The List

Emily did this last year, so duh....of course I copied her!

I think I will do it again this year too, I so enjoyed it! But to rehash- here is "The List" from last year-

Pay close attention-

****Originally posted in December of 08***

Today, Emily did this on her blog.

Not only does she make me hungry like, every freaking day, but she's pretty funny. You should start reading her blog. Then go ahead and make her recipes, but just don't do it as well as I think I can. That makes me feel remarkably inadequate. Thanks!

I thought it looked like fun! You all know I like to "acquire" ideas from others, so I thought....hmm... I can do that! She said I can too, so here goes!

100 things that I love-

(in no particular order! So NO complaining!)

1.my husband 2. my children 3.my mom 4.my friends 5. books 6. school 7. cooking 8. cupcakes 9. yogurtland 10. Tall Mouse craft stores 11. cookbooks! 12. garage sales 13. clearance racks 14. Target 15. Nordstroms 16. coffee 17. cashmere socks 18. wearing no shoes 19. being in my pajamas for as long as possible 20. weekends 21. date nights 22. "practicing" 23. road trips! 24. diet coke 25. natural mothering 26. pecan pie 27. pumpkin pie 28. Charles Dickens 29. grocery shopping for new recipes 30. hosting parties 31. Pushing Daisies 32. Project Runway 33. Historical Fiction 34. William Stafford 35. Billy Collins 36. John Irving 37. libraries 38. rainy days 39. Paula Deen 40. Quilts 41. Crocheted blankets from my mom 42. old photos 43. Amelie 44. Gone with the Wind 45. cheeseburgers 46. BBQ 47. good heels 48. Amazon.com 49. Ebay 50. mentos 51. m&ms 52. presents from Cory 52. Blues 53. margherita pizza 54. my piano 55. NPR 56. samples at Costco 57. writing out cards 58. Charlotte Bronte 59. chile verde 60. holidays 61. new babies 62. pregnant women (the nice ones) 63. flats 64. real coffee shops 65. Etsy 66. the deli 67. going to my mother in laws for dinner 68. Danger Family FUNdays 69. G.K. Chesterton 70. Tattoos 71. Real cities 72. other people's gardens 73. getting my hair done 74. writing 75. bikes 76. Jane Austen 77. George MacDonald 78. plants in a house 79. sustainable thinking 80. Google 81. Italian food 82. good mexican food 83. Reading with the kids 84. teaching the boys at home 85. being an interfaith family 86. going to the movies 87. being in bed 88. real life crime shows/books 89. biographies 90. food network 91. hot rods with loud exhaust 92. twitter 93. having great neighbors 94. having a home. period. 95. baking 96. giving gifts 97. weddings 98. Rolling Stones 99. going for walks 100. history channel

She was right- that was way easy. I guess it is good to have so much that I love!

You should try it. What do you love?

p.s. I better be on that list....or else....

p.s. squared- don't forget about the giveaway! (this ended sooooo forever ago! You missed it!

xoxo-

J.danger

You know you were thinking it....

You know what I think sucks?

Birthday parties.

Birthday parties and holidays.

Birthday parties, holidays, and family vacations.

I know…I know…sacrelig, right?

WRONG.

I never used to understand my mom when I was younger. Every year we would go camping along the good Ole’ Colorado River, and I mean camping. Sleeping on cots, cooking over a fire, “relieving” yourself in bushes, coming home redder than lobsters. (Side note, one time I burned so bad I came home with sun poisoning. My lips were two giant blisters. YOU try eating campfire spaghetti with two giant blisters for lips!). My cousin and I used to hunt snakes, until we found them. Then we would remember- we were girls, and oh-my-GAWWWWD- they will eat us. Then we stopped hunting snakes. But my mom, not so much. I mean sure she had fun, she would bring her Stephen King novels with her and laugh with my aunts and stuff, but she was never EXCITED excited like we were. I mean, I packed for this trip in like FEBRUARY every year. I never quite understood it.

Until I had kids.

And we camped.

HOLY COW is it hard. Why the hell do you even call it a vacation anymore?! It is TOTALLY not. WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. You know what it is?! It’s work, except for free, and in the dirt. You have to pack up like every dish known to man, and somehow get is to fit in ONE milk crate. You need to pack enough clothes for all the children (who will be playing in the DIRT!) for the entire week, and somehow get it in one bag. Plus, you never know what will happen, so now I also need to be a traveling medic (not THAT kind) and bring like, every single product that Band Aid and Johnson and Johnson make combined. Plus, the kids need to like, be comfortable, so we need cozies, and bears, and blankies, and on and on and on.
NOT FUN. I hear ya Mom, I hear ya.

Same thing with holidays. You get the kids allllll dressed up, so that they can shit themselves five seconds from your Great Aunt three times removed Gerda’s house. Then, all you do is chase them around the whole time yelling “DON’T TOUCH THAT”. Not fun.

And birthday parties?! I mean please, do I even need to say anything more? Um, hellllloooo? I BIRTHED YOU. Is this not enough already?!

So mom…here’s to you. Hats off lady, even if I did get skin cancer from all those camping trips. But me? I’ll pass. Here on out, it’s the Ritz for me.

God couldn't be everywhere at once, so he created moms....ahhhhh....

******I wrote this in July, when I was still pregnant to the MAX (as opposed to just looking like it, like, you know....NOW)*****

Somewhere in this pregnancy I stopped cleaning the house. No one noticed at first, so I just let it go. I keep up on the laundry, and do the dishes after I realize that leaving them in the sink until someone else notices them is doing me absolutely no good.

I DID mop the floors a week or two ago. Once. But really, they were still disgusting.

This was hard for me at first, because I usually keep a clean house. No joke folks, people envy me for my mad domestic skills. No joke.

But now? Not so much.

There is a bowling ball stuck to my midsection.

A three year old clinging to my right calf.

And an angry adolescent nagging at me from behind.

They all need something, NOW, which happens to be at the same time.

So first the make up went. Then the housekeeping.

Then? Sorry honey, but sex? Not so much.

Then my mom came over.

Cory and I left for a few hours- laundry fluffed and folded!

Floors cleaned, rinsed AND waxed.

Everything sparkled and glowed. The rugs were deodorized AND vacuumed.

The toilets were clean, the sinks were scrubbed.

AND she went grocery shopping for me.

At first I was totally embarrassed. OH MY GOD, my mom had to clean my house for me! I am the filthiest bum EVER.

But then I remembered- oh ya, this woman totally used to wipe my ass. AND she has been there for both gruesome bloody deliveries of those grand babies she loves so much.

But the poor hubs? There are still some things my mom won't do.

Damn it.

She clearly does not know why the caged bird sings

Judy Ahrens, who used to serve as a trustee for the Westminster School District, spoke at a Huntington Beach City Council meeting this week regarding her concern over a book that is available to 8th graders in their middle school library.  The book in question?  Maya Angelou's autobiography "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings".  Ahrens, and her cohort, Ocean View School District Trustee John Briscoe, claim that the rape scene in the book is vulgar and inappropriate.  Briscoe opened with "I am here to speak on behalf of the helpless children currently subject to inappropriate reading material in our local public schools".

It gets better.

Ahrens, during her presentation, emotionally stated to the audience "I would like to say I don't wish to read this material...but for the sake of the innocence of our children...sometimes we have to do things in life we are uncomfortable with".

Yes, Ms. Ahrens, indeed we do.  And contrary to your prerogative, sometimes these "things in life we are uncomfortable with" include

 teaching our children about rape; as well as racism, sexism, and class discrimination.  All of which, Angelou's book confronts.

You can read the full article here.

There is also a list of the top twenty most frequently challenged books, which includes "Of Mice and Men" which teaches our children about mental illness, "Heather Has Two Mommies" which encourages equal civil rights to homosexuals, and the Alice series- that famous series of books that has been passed from one sweaty pubescent nail polished hand to another for decades, encouraging young women to feel confident about themselves and their bodies and the changes that occur during puberty.

Are these really resources that we should be removing from our children?  In a time when they can hop on the family computer themselves and find another resource?  Say...pornography?  Or some extremist hate group luring young kids into prejudice?

And aside from the fact that these books get our kids to read, and therefore think, we need to confront the fact that these are all realities that our kids face on a daily basis.  We would be foolish, and doing great harm to our next generation, to act as though they do not exist, or that they are too filthy to bring to the table.

Here's an idea- instead of sweeping them under the rug, why not raise our children in such a manner that they will acknowledge that the world unfortunately holds such problems as these, and with compassion and empathy for other human beings, go out and do something about it?

But that's just probably some silly thought that I picked up from some vulgar book....

J.Danger

Pure Awesomeness

Oh wait....I blog?

Who knew.

So.  Hardest thing so far about having three boys?

Having three boys.

Let's catch up.  Had the baby, baby goes into NICU, baby gets out of NICU (THANK GOD!) and comes home with us. Two days later I am back in class.  Six days later, I go into the hospital, for FIVE HELLISH DAYS, with a fever of 106.3. Insane.

The idea of a schedule with this one is a joke.  JOKE.  Things are starting to calm down a little, and I think I am getting the hang of this thing all over again.

This week I met with an admissions counselor for Grad school.  (AHHHHHHHH!!!!! GRAD SCHOOL!!!!) It was scheduled for a Thursday, Cory's only day off, but he had a ton of stuff to do, so I had the two youngest boys.  And a meeting.  With an adult. That I had to impress.

So I thought quickly.  And what I came up with was.....

I just took em with me.  Get over it.  It is what it is.  I have three children, and sometimes they will be with me.  Take it or leave it.

But, before we left, Oliver decided that he was hungry.  Apparently, the TWO breakfasts he had that morning was not enough.  So, as I finally had all of three minutes and forty seven seconds to get ready for my appointment, Oliver bit Elliott on the nose.  Ferociously.  I had to pull him off of him he bit him so hard.  Terrible screams, blood, and bite marks later we all calm down and I grab my gorgeous camel colored cashmere sweater, pep talk myself up and walk out that door.

And then Elliott threw up all over my sweater.  I was late for the appointment, and my boobs leaked through my top.

Fun was had by all.  But god dammit, I showed up!

Maybe they will just write me up for an A in my first class, "The Art of Being a Total Train Wreck".

xoxo,

J.Danger

Happy Halloween from the Danger Family

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Jazz Hands!

So. Long story short, we wound up having to be induced because of the gestational diabetes.  I felt pretty bad about it at first, but at the end I came to terms with the fact and sucked it up.  It went really slow at first because I needed to be on antibiotics  for the GBS for at least four hours before anything could really happen (this totally sucked!  Almost more than the labor in general.  Huge doses of Penicillin straight into your IV?!  NO THANKS).  So we wait the four hours, then they up the Pitocin.  Then they up it again, and again, and again.  Nothing doing.  So my midwife decides to break my water, to get him to slide on in to home.  She broke my water somewhere around 11:30 ish. I was at 5 cm.  One hour later, while they were all eating lunch, I needed to push.  NOW.  This is where it all got a little dicey.  I pushed a few times and bingo bango- there's the head.  (All ye with peni and/or weak stomachs- STOP HERE)  His head passed fine, then the next thing I know everyone is screaming at me to stop pushing stop pushing stop pushing!!!  The pain was excruciating.  I was screaming- not labor noises, screaming.  My first two were natural, vaginal, medication free deliveries.  This one was induced, yes, but still epidural free.  But this was not normal pain.  It hurt bad, the bad like something is wrong.  Turns out it was a culmination of things. One- his shoulders did get stuck after all.  On top of that, I have a prolapsed uterus, which means that my cervix never really moved out of the way 100% (sorry folks).  Next thing I know, there are three sets of hands all up in my bidness, pulling and tugging and yanking, and then he was here!

And I heard nothing.  Not one yell, not one squea

k, not one yelp.  When they got him up on my chest he was blue.  Scary blue.  Too blue.  And he was just staring at me, wide eyed.  I kept yelling, why isn't he crying?!  Why isn't he crying?  Why is he so blue?!  As the nurse tries to convince me that he is fine, as she places an oxygen mask on his brand new little baby face.

They took him, and Cory went over to the baby nest with him, and then I heard it.  That glorious newborn baby yelp and I looked up and he was fine, just as pink as can be.

Here he is.  Mr. Owl.  8 lbs 7 ozs. (TINY!) 20 inches.  at 12:47 p.m.

So that's labor.  You know the rest.  Placenta, clean up, yada yada....

Cory and I go to bed that night with Mr. Owl. Everything is fine.  Until he spits up.  And then he spits up again.  And again.  Each time it is more and more, and I'm thinking, you know- he is spitting up more than he ate.  This is not right.  The doctor came to make rounds the next morning, just as she is discharging him, he vomits.  PROFUSELY. Twice. All over himself.  And it is this weird color and consistency.  Read- not ok.  So she calmly says to us that she is going to have to keep him for observation.  We say ok, no big deal right.  Until she wheels him into the NICU.

Cory and I packed for two nights in the hospital.  We packed going home out fits for everyone.   We packed his new blankie.  We were ready.  But how in the hell do you prepare for the NICU?

I will save you the details, plus I just don't want to recap them again. But it was terrible.  To see him in there like that, with wires and leads, in an incubator, with tubes down his throat and nose, and a huge I.V. in his teeny tiny little hands.  The nurses in the NICU were great.  One just held me like a gramma and let me bawl my eyes out on her shoulder.  Once he was off the I.V. and could eat again, they let me come in every two hours to breastfeed him and just actually hold him and touch him, which was hard because of all the stuff attached to him.  But man, I loved just getting to hold him and feed him and talk to him.

Thank God he is ok.  And now, in the grand scheme of things, and in comparison to some of the other families I met in the NICU, really it was nothing.  He is totally fine.  It was some sort of a G.I. obstruction.  Now?  He is eating, pooping, and peeing like a champ.  But I promised him there that I will try my damnedest to never again let anything hurt him like that.  Life lessons? Ok sometimes those sting a little.  But those are good.  But NICU pain? For me and for him? Never again.

Between that promise, and the fact that he is the youngest, I figure he's got it made.

xoxo,

J.Danger

Oops

I meant to post this yesterday, for WW, but I forgot.  So here you have it.  For TT- Thinking Thursday?  I don't know....for all of you that have been thinking of me?

Lame.

Me and the bean at 40 weeks.  Which means I am done with this pregnancy.  So.  WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ELLIOTT?!

But seriously, thanks to everyone that has been emailing, twittering, FBing me and everything.  I know I joke about how annoying it is to constantly be asked if I have popped yet, just to sob and say no, but really- I love you guys and appreciate it.

Soon, super soon.

Meanwhile, if you want to follow me on Twitter, and follow the big event you can find me here.

Thanks guys-

xoxo,

J. Danger

Anticipa-a-a-a-a-tion

Waiting- noun- a period of waiting; pause, interval or delay.

Adjective- serving or being in attendance

Idiom- In waiting, in attendance, as upon a royal personage

So, if this kid comes out a damn king, then this will all make sense.  Because that's all we are all doing around here.  Waiting on him!

Anyone that has kids knows how this goes.  Every single time I make a phone call I am greeted with, "are you in labor?!"  Swear to god, even the Terminix man.

And heaven forbid I make a phone call and NOT leave a message.  Then it is the child birth apocalypse!

And everyone is giving me the dates that work well for them if I go into labor.  Mom has inventory, mother in law has jam packed work weeks, husband has all kinds of important stuff.

You know when is good for me?

NOW.

But I did it.  I ate my way OUT of a C-Section.  Which means that I get to birth my bebah naturally again.  Which I am super stoked on.  So when he gets here, he gets here.

Just, please....please little bebah bean, come before the 27th.  Mama's got class!

And I swear to god, if you wait until the ONLY day that I cannot possible have you, then I will be pissed!  And that will just set the tone for the rest of our relationship. And if you come out making your middle brother look like HE is eager to please, well sir....I will have words for you-  Your Highness.

XOXO,

J.Your Mama Danger

Revenge is a dish best served with a Medical Degree

Earlier this week my friend Jenn had her adorable little smooshy faced baby, Jack.

That's him, right there- in her belly.

This made me VERY happy, for several reasons.  1- He is adorable.  2- I got to smell little newborn baby head, which is my absolutely hands down favorite smell EVER.  3- This reminds me that Jenn and I are only a few weeks apart, so I am NEXT bitches!

So I have spent the past few days driving (the worst commute EVER!) to and from the hospital to visit and cuddle and coo.  Yesterday, I am waddling into the hospital's main entrance, heading towards the mega elevators they have for the pregos.  You know, the ones that can hold 5,000 pounds at once? Gracefully?  Those.  And two seconds after I walk in, this super nice grey haired little ole volunteer lady (I swear I think I saw her reading New Moon!!!!!) came barreling towards me with a wheelchair.  THAT is how freaking pregnant I am folks.  Pathetic.

So, after screaming at my hard of hearing yet quick with the wheelchair Team Edward cohort that I indeed am NOT in labor and therefore do not need the Porsche of the Elders, who do I see strutting down the super important doctors only past this point hall way?

I see YOU, Mr. had a crush on Mama Dangerous when she was 16 and then got super weird and stabby revenge-y when I politely (not so much) told you that I was actually not that into you after all.

Oh hai!

He did not see me, thank GOD, because none of my shirts cover my bulging belly anymore, which is totally NOT hot.  I also had no makeup on, and I am pretty sure that my bra was all over the place, AND the excitement over the little babies makes my boobs leak EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

Oh yea, and there is the fact that YOU ARE NOW A GOD DAMN DOCTOR!

Which is funny, because I distinctly remember him telling me that the only reason I was not into him at the wise old age of 16 was because I liked "Bad Boys"  on motorcycles with tattoos and funny hair, and that "Bad Boys" will only get me into trouble.

Oh ya?

Well guess what Mr. Smarty Doctor Pants.

This one, this one right here?

 Not so much trouble.  Only marriage, babies, and a happily ever after.

And- he has GREAT hair.

Showed you!

xoxo,

J.Danger

WW: and baby got low low low...

And the waiting begins....

I'm so emo, I could join his team

So, there is a drawback to having a substantial gap in age between your children.

I am about to give birth to an infant, while parenting a three year old, and (trying to) raise a pre-teen.

Ouch.

I am not prepared for this.  I do not know what to do.  He has become a totally different person overnight.

Half of me wants to just ignore him, I am not even going to lie.  I mean this kid is rough!  Mean. Crabby, hormonal, pissy, and SMELLY.

But the other half of me?  Misses my baby.

Where has he gone?!  I never see him anymore, unless he needs food, money, or a ride.  When he is home and in the family room, it is to snap at someone, or pick a fight with whoever is in arms reach.  He gets phone calls all day long, and so many friends stopping by that when I get sick of it, I make it look like no one is home and ignore the doorbell.  Which, oh my GAWD, it is too hot right now to close up all the shutters!

His face is breaking out.

His armpits REEK.

He worries about what he is wearing.

He notices GIRLS, and then points them out to me.

When did this happen?!  In any given day, even just a thirty minute span, I careen from potty mess clean ups to hormonal outbreaks over not having Ramen noodles!  And I am the hormonal pregnant one in these parts folks!

But now, I miss the baby stage.  I miss when he toddled behind me asking "Why why why".  I miss when he used to get excited about visiting me at work for ice cream sundaes.  Or when he loved being the only kindergartner sitting in on my college classes.  Now he won't even be seen with me in public!

So my solution?  I am still not sure.  I go back and forth between hiding from my children to read Twilight and play Bubble Blaster, and crying to my husband about (damn near anything) having more children A.S.A.P.

It is a double edged sword folks, and I am getting both sides.

XOXO,

J.Danger

No one will read this anyway, thanks to YOU BlogHer.

Yesterday Cory and I went to a wedding.  It was the older brother of a family friend of Cory's.  Read= we have no idea why we were invited!  But thank god they did because we really had a great time out.  The bride did it all herself, at the Botanical Gardens, at sunset, gorgeous!  And- there was Mexican food.  REAL Mexican food.  Fish taco bar? Check.  Carnitas? Check.  Real home made guacamole? Check.  And there was an open bar, all night.  Woooooo  I was raging on the diet coke.

Best part ever?  

Cory and I got to stay for cake, which lets be real here, is the only reason anyone goes to weddings anyways.  We never get to stay for cake, we always have to leave before cake, for the kiddddddds, but not last night.  So, to make up for all that lost cake, I had two!  Holla!

Down side?  BUG HEAVEN.  Oy Vey.  And, I looked freaking adorable in all my 9 month pregnant glory, until you got to my feet.  But thank YOU, Old Navy, for making flip flops in every color for only a buck.

Oh ya, and the crazy lady that sat next to us for the entire reception.  

She was following us around, talking the whole time, about our tats and our colors and how adorable we are.  Then we had to fix her chair, she somehow developed a nick name for one of us in all of 3.49 seconds that stuck ALLLLL NIGHT LONG, and....she had crazy eyes.

Oh, you know crazy eyes.

But then- all of a sudden, it comes out.  She is a teacher.  Teaching the same EXACT subject that I want to be teaching, in the ONLY district that is actually hiring right now, AND she is a consultant and advocate in the district.

So, turns out- crazy lady is my new BFF, and I spent the rest of the night clinging to her every word.  Turns out, she freaking LOVES me, and (after two, then three, STRONG drinks) she was pretty rad.

So, me and my new BFF have exchanged ALL of our contact info, and we have a K-I-T date set.

Score one for me crazy cat lady! (I don't know if she actually has cats, but it adds to the illusion)

Today, I am paying the price for all those fish tacos, endless diet cokes, and delicious cake. Quietly, at home, with only the wee one, dreaming of all the cats we all know I will own in a few decades.  And all the old newspapers stacked in corners, with expired coupons just waiting to be spent.  Lets be real here folks, there was a reason we hit it off right quick, crazy cat lady and I.

xoxo,

J.Danger

WW: 35 weeks

(Today IS wednesday, right?!)

Where in the World is Jessica San Diego?

I know.  It's been ages dahhhhling.

What have I been doing this past month?

Well, you see, my three year old has been trying to MURDER ME.

OH.MY.GOD.

I forgot how rough three is.  Everyone warns you about two.  

Two?  Cake.

Three?  WORMY MUD PIE.

So let us rehash.

In the same day he-

1. Drank his OWN URINE.  Yes.  Yes that is what I said.  When I caught him, and asked him why he was drinking his pee- he looked incredulously at me and said "It's yellow."  Duh mom.

2.  Locked me IN his bedroom with him at nap time.  ON PURPOSE.  Swear to god.  Tucked him in, turned around for the radio, and that's when he jumped up, locked the door, slammed it, and blew a raspberry at me before jumping back into bed.  (We have the locks rotated, so that no child here can ever lock themselves IN a room.  Unless of course mom is in there with you!)

3.  Proceeded to throw toys at me as I tried to heft my grotesquely large swollen body up out of the chair as he wiggles his fingers in his ears at me, while blowing raspberries.

Then there was yesterday.  Where he ran past me at the pool, flinging aside his water wings and aimed for the deep end.  He thought it was hysterical when mommy slipped and fell when she was chasing after him, thus bruising her already sore tail bone (my ass is KILLING ME).

And when he is not busy with all of these glorious pastimes, he is running and hiding from me in the house, which he thinks is just the coolest.  And man! can this boy hide.  Last week he had me in tears, big crocodile tears, because I could not find him.  As I was balling outside on the porch, calling his name, holding up my baby guts, he nonchalantly saunters out-of MY ROOM, where I had just checked nine thousand times!  with his face covered in my BRAND NEW economy sized ($9~) Desitin.

This was the same day that he dumped his BRAND NEW economy sized ($18) bath soap into ONE bath.

This boy is expensive.

So that is what I have been doing; narrowly escaping death at the hands of my three year old.

Nothing new, right?

Now, if I could only read minds....I need to know what he has planned for me when the baby gets here....

xoxo,

J.Danger

p.s.- Tomas- be nice to mommy or I am axing you from my will kiddo!

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

And the Random.org gods have declared that the winner of Miss Cassey Cakes Hair flower clip is- 

#4 is Paula! 

I think it is SO rad that Paula won this one, because she pulled out all the stops for my blog!  I even got her on Twitter!  SCORE!

XOXO,

J.Danger 

Ready....Steady....wait, not so steady...

****DON'T FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY****

I feel like I tell you guys just about everything.  Which, let's face it, is pretty much the story of my life.  But what can you do, eh?

Except, there has been one thing that I have NOT told you all, Internets, that I am going to now. Because it has been confirmed. Possibly.

Ready?

1.  Problem Pregnancy

2. C-Section.

There, I said it.

SCARY AS SHIT.

Don't panic, I am totally fine I assure you, and so is the wee one.  But this pregnancy has kicked my ass.  Is continuing to kick my ass; daily.

I have always been anemic, so that is nothing new, so we are dealing with that.  On top of that I have a prolapsed uterus, which worsens with each pregnancy (sorry fellas!!).  And lets just say that if this uterus of mine prolapses any further, I will pushing out a hysterectomy along with the bean.  And, the baby is breech.  OW.  Walking would be nice, it really would.  At this point, I WANT to exercise.  Anything.  I can't even get up the stairs easily anymore it hurts that bad.  It scares me to be home alone with the boys, because I can't do anything.  Oliver has duly noted this, and runs away from me at every opportunity.  I cry and waddle after him, holding my crotch.  And I am gigantic! Both the boys were large at birth to begin with- #1 was 9.8, and #2 was 10.3.  So hello?!  #3- I'm waging about 12 or 13.  

But now?  Now- gestational diabetes.  Poking myself 5,674 times a day.  Measuring and monitoring EVERYTHING that I eat, drink, or even momentarily chew.  And so far, even following all the rules, I am high all day, then way too low at dinner time.  Makes no sense.  The worse part is that my machine is registered through my doctor's office, so he automatically gets a read out of my counts- so he knows approximately 2.5 seconds later that my count was off.  Awesome.  I have two weeks to get them right, every time, every day, or I need to go back to get on Insulin.

On top of this, I found out way early in my pregnancy that I have active Group B Strep (sorry fellas!!) so I have been dealing with that the whole time too, but now that delivery is looming closer, it has become a bigger issue- particularly paired with the diabetes.

Wow.  I am so awesome.

But here is the thing.  Yesterday, we had "The Talk".  My doctor said it- C-Section.  No big deal right?  I get to plan the date and time, I get to be pretty much knocked out through it, and bingo bango I gotta' new baby.

Right, but then there is the drugs that I will have to take, the anesthesiology, then there is the fact that I will not be in control of my own labor, or my own body for that sake.  Oh, and I won't be able to hold him immediately, let alone breast feed him, or even attempt at bonding with him for roughly four hours.

This is hard for me.  I believe in natural labor and delivery, I support breast feeding, and attachment parenting.  I am a "Natural Mother" whatever the hell THAT means anymore now-a-days.  I have had both of our boys naturally.  No inductions, no pitocin, no nothing.  No epidural, I stay at home until the very last minute, I get to hold him immediately, he latches from the start, and they both room with me the whole time.  

C-section?  I lose all of this.

Don't freak out-  I am NOT attacking you if you have had, or even opted for, C-sections, or if you take as many drugs as possible to forget as much of labor as you can.  Was your baby healthy?  Did you deliver safely?  Then you did your job, successfully, and amen to that!  But this is what I have chosen for me, and my kids, and it breaks my heart that I might not be able to do that this time.  I feel like a failure.

Sometimes pregnancy effing sucks.

xoxo,

J.danger

WW: The Cutest Band Nerd in Town

********DONT FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY*********

My raging weekend

So, how is it that large, swollen, pregnant women rage all weekend long?

Domestically of course!

For those of you that follow me like a stalker (I love you my stalkers!), you all know that I never leave the house.  I just don't- unless it is for school, or work, or mommy-ish type things, you know where to find me 99.99% of the time.  But this weekend- I let my hair down and painted the town red!

I wish that I had pictures from the whole weekend, but I left my camera on the charger twice this weekend, which also NEVER happens, of course except for this weekend.

Friday night I went to a cooking party at my neighbor's house where we made Mexican lasagna and cookies- none of which I could eat.  Buts that OK, because I went out to dinner with the fam first.  Awesome.

THEN- Saturday, one of my BFF's had her baby shower.  This is Jenn.

Say Hi Jenn.

Jenn and I are only three weeks apart.  How awesome is that?  We have known each other since the beginning of high school, I was her maid of honor, and she was in my wedding too.  And now, we are knocked up together.

And we are both having boys.  Jack belongs to her, while Elliott belongs to me.

Crazy.

Then I got to go have dinner with my mom.  We went to a restaurant that I worked at for YEEEEAAAAARRRRS as a waitress, and that was weird.  But whatever, my mom was there so I could have been eating snails for all I cared.  In the dirt, but with my mom.

Then Sunday, my mom drove out here to go to my cousin's baby shower.  I have no pictures from the shower, but I had so much fun.  The mom-to-be looks freaking ADORABLE and I had to restrain myself from force feeding her the whole time I was there.  She is too cute.  Best part was that my ENTIRE family was there, all the women at least, and I love it when my family gets together.  So much fun.

My mom came home with me and hung out with the boys, had dinner, I cut her hair, then she helped (made the entire thing) me with Tomas viking costume.

Cory was kind enough to watch the kids for me THE ENTIRE WEEKEND.  He is a brave soul.

Thanks honey.

So thats how we roll fool, us pregos.

Top THAT.

xoxo,

J.Danger

WHOOOOOOOOOO WANTS A CLEEEEEEEEAN HOUSE?!

Yesterday I asked my husband to do one teeeeeeeeensie weeeeeensie little thing for me.

Please take down Oliver's old clothes, so that I can start sorting and washing them for Elliott.

Using my Jedi mind trick, it worked!  And alas, five minutes later, I watched his car drive away and I was surrounded by three large Ziploc storage bags.  Of clothes.  To sort.  AND wash.

I started sorting.....and they are just SO CUTE, and look at these little itty bitty teeny weeny socks!  And look at this adorable little smookums t shirt.  And oh!  Look! I remember this blanket, this little fuzzy wuzzy...

Then- the inevitable happened.  I found another bag.  Way up top...

Of course I had to get it.  I can't start and then only half ass it.  Pfft, I can totally get that bag down, 7 and some odd months pregnant, safely.

Then, the OTHER inevitable happened.  Once I got the bag down (which I had NO business moving) there was a big hole in the shelving unit.  I can't leave a huge gaping hole in the shelving unit!  I HAVE to reorganize the garage now!  And what if there are more baby clothes in there?!  I MUST SAVE THEM NOW.

So, the short end of it is, I spent the majority of five hours in the garage.  Lifting, tossing, sorting, sweeping, cleaning, re-sorting, a.k.a TOTALLY FREAKING THE HELL OUT.

Today?  

OUCH.

But the baby's half of Oliver's room (it is still Oliver's room, he is NOT sharing with the teeny baby because it is HIS!!  because he is BIG!!!!!) is coming together.  The crib is up, the changing table is being (slooooowwwwwwllllllllly) assembled, and now I have laundry to wash for the masses!

Side note- Sonic burger opened up here in our town.  I have always seen those commercials, like every 2.5 seconds, and never understood the marketing behind this.  Why, oh why, would you spend prime time advertising bucks to advertise for a company that does not exist in South Orange County?!

Now I know why.

Because now that it opened here, I HAD TO HAVE IT.

This is smart on their part, because I do not eat fast food.  EVER.  Lets face it guys, that stuff is nasty, and you KNOW it is killing you and the planet, SIMULTANEOUSLY.

But this did not stop me from devouring Sonic for dinner with the kiddos and a clumsy car hop on skates that cannot count back correct change.

You know what did stop me from going back?

Heartburn.

Ouch.

XOXO,

J.Danger

WW: K.I.T.

I thought that I missed them.  It has been so long since I have seen them.

But now?  Hello Vienna Sausages!  Ew.

xoxo,

The grotesquely swollen J.Danger

Don't Call Me a Crook Winner!

According to the random.org gods, the winner of Don't Call Me a Crook!  is.....

#4!

The winner is .....

Anonymous said...
How do I enter to win?

Heather to the S.

June 1, 2009 1:17 PM

That is a pretty funny entry to win with!

Congrats Heather!

xoxo,

J.Danger

Maru Maru Necklace Winner!

According to the Random.org gods, the winner is

#7!

#7- 

Raging Dad said...
Ok, my daughter says that the Blue Millefiori Glass Pendant is her favorite! (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23560662)

May 31, 2009 4:18 PM

Which is even better, because today is his BIRTHDAY!!!

So at least he will have something sparkly and fabulous to wear out when he celebrates!

Congrats Raging Dad!

NOW DONT FORGET TO ENTER MY OTHER GIVEAWAY!

XOXO,

J.Danger

Hothouse Botanicals

DONT FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY FOR DON'T CALL ME A CROOK!

I have discovered an awesome new company! It is called Hothouse Botanicals.
At Hothouse Botanicals they create bath and body products that are 100% Vegan, contain simple natural ingredients, essential oils, and are housed in recyclable containers. They are totally natural and organic AND are free of harmful preservatives, contain no synthetic fragrances/perfumes and colors, and are Dirty Dozen Free. 

They have four signature scents that she develops herself using only essential oils.

Bourbon Geranium (a rosy minty scent)
Bergamot/Ylang Ylang (a spicy orange floral)
Lavender/Litsea Cubeba (a lavender lemon aroma)
Vanilla/Lime

Hothouse Botanicalls sent me a fabulous little sampling of their products.  I received all three of their solid fragrances, as well as her Vanilla Lime Sugar Scrub.

OH. MY. GAWD.

The sugar scrub?  HEAVEN.  Our youngest has been home sick the past week, and let me tell you....this sugar scrub saved me!  Every night I used it in the bath, after the baby went

to bed (for all of two fitful hours at a time!) and it was such a release.  And my skin just loved it!  You know when you are pregnant, it's like your skin is on fire ALL DAY LONG?  It's not just me, is it?  This sugar scrub totally killed it for me.  Loved it.  And it smelled so good!  Even my oblivious husband noticed it.

The organic solid perfumes are just as amazing!  I loved that

they are solid because then I can put them wherever I want.  I discovered that if I put them on my pressure points, then the scent would kind of rejuvenate itself during the day!  It was awesome.  My favorite was totally the licorice candy scent.  I was hesitant to try this one, because licorice perfume?!  Weird right?  WRONG.  It smelled so good, it made my kids hungry.  I love licorice, so I loved faintly smelling it all through the day.  There are two other scents too- Love's Embrace, a floral scent with jasmine and spice, and also Seductress (hubba hubba) which had violet and bergamot.  I loved these two also, but the Licorice Candy won me over.  

Hothouse Botanicals is an awesome company, with products I can totally stand behind.  Plus- they offer free shipping on all orders $40 and more.  AWESOME!

Go check em out, and tell her J.Danger sent ya!

XOXO (and smelling fine!)

J.Danger

Don't Call Me a Crook!

DONT FORGET TO ENTER MY OTHER GIVEAWAY!  A CUTE LITTLE NECKLACE MADE BY MARU MARU DESIGNS!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, I cannot believe it!  TWO GIVEAWAYS in one week!  So rad.

Lisa Roe, online publicist extraordinaire,  kindly gave me a review copy of Don't Call Me a Crook! by Bob Moore.  I just finished it last night, and I loved it.  

Here is a bit from the website-

"The 1920s didn't roar for Moore. They exploded. And whether he was snatching jewelry or in the thick of a New York high society orgy, he embraced the age with a bear hug. And nothing—not Prohibition, marriage, or the police—was going to stop him from having a good time."

It was very good.  It reminded me a lot of something like Keroauc and the likes.  He strikes me as the LAST type of man that would write a book, let alone an autobiography, but I am glad he did.  Drinking, stealing, traveling all over the world, Chinese pirates, opium smuggling, you name it- Bob Moore did it.  Like it was nuthin'.

"So, as the night drew on the Second Mate that was with me started to be very depressed because this was the first time he had ever been in a gaol, and I must say it was not a very good introduction, and besides that he seemed to think that now he had been in gaol he would lose all his reputation.  I really felt more sorry for him than I did for my own predicament because I think it must be a worry to lose your reputation, but that is never a thing that I have had to bother about because I have never had any reputation to lose."

Ha!

"The man that had made this execution stood leaning on his sword, looking down at his work for a minute, but as soon as he saw that another cut would not be needed he handed it to the bearer to be wiped, and then he turned and marched away."

Just so you know, this was NOT the first execution Mr. Moore witnessed in this book. There was more, before this one!

It was a good read, and it felt good to be reading "for fun" again, now that school is (kind of) out for the time being.

Lisa, and Dissident Books ( an awesome INDIE bookhouse BTW!) are kind enough to let me give this copy away! All you need to do is leave me a comment letting me know you would like this awesome read!

I will let this contest run until June 3rd, then I will randomly choose the winner.

Have fun!

xoxo,

J.Danger

WW: Stupid Cupid

DONT FORGET TO ENTER MY NECKLACE GIVEAWAY FROM MARU MARU DESIGNS!!!!!

WW: Wanda would be proud...

Because free is always better than cheap!

Ok folks.  I am proud of you all.  You guys have stuck with me for these pasts few weeks...listening to my bitching, cheering me on, and telling me that I don't look THAT fat (liars).  

So I have something for you.

Something sparkly!

Something dangly!

Ta- dah!

This is a Swarovski Crystal Heart Drop necklace from the fabulous Maru Maru!

She does such beautiful work.

Like this-

And this-

And this-

I swear, if I had a million bucks, I would spend it in her store.

Plus, she makes it all herself!  So fabulous.

She is so amazing that she is offering to give away ONE of her crystal heart necklaces.  

To enter-

1.  Head on over to her Etsy store and browse around.  Leave me a comment here, telling me which item you would like to have all to yourself.

****For extra entries you can....

1. Follow my blog

2. Follow MaruMaru on  Twitter 

3. Friend her on the Space

4. Blog about this giveaway, leave a comment to let me know.

5. Tweet about this giveaway.  Leave me a comment letting me know.  You can tweet and retweet to your little hearts content.

Contest will run through this week, and I will draw the winner of THIS HERE GOODIE on the 1st.  Good luck! 

XOXO,

J.Danger

Peacocks and Peanut Butter Smooshies

So I don't know who invented the whole blood born pathogens safety nonsense and all that, but every time I get pregnant, I get the itch reallllllll bad.

No, not THAT itch.

The itch to get tattooed.  I know it is probably just because I can't, but it is always magnified when I am in the "family way".  Cory and I get tattooed (not nearly as much as we would like) every couple of months or so, so being pregnant puts a damper in the sitch.

I told Cory that he can tattoo me as soon as I push out this fruit of his loins, so I have been thinking about what to get.

Trashy rose that says I Love Cory?  

Oh oh oh I know- a yin/yang sign!

Or how about a word that is spelled wring in Chinese?

FAIL.

I know what I want to get, I want to fill in the space on my forearm that I have been saving.

With my peacock.  There are only a few things that I collect- vintage eyeglasses, anything Miss Kitty, and Peacocks.

What do ya think?  Peacock it is? Help me, to help you, to help me decorate my body.

Talk amongst yourselves.

But while you do- make yourselves these cookies.  They are fab!

(shown here is the buttascotch, yo! version)

I got the recipe years ago out of a cookbook that I (snagged from my dad who originally) bought at a boat store.  Random.  It is called 6 ingredients or less, which is perfect if you ask me.

It is an odd recipe because there is no flour, but if you FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS they come out every time.

Peanut Butter Cookies-

1 cup peanut butter, smooth or crunchy

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips 

1/4 cup chopped walnuts 

(You don't actually NEED the walnuts or chocolate chips, but you NEEEEEEED them)

Combine ingredients and mix well.  Drop by teaspoon onto ungreased baking sheet.  Bake at 350 for 8 minutes or until batter starts to firm up and lightly brown.  Makes about 2 1/2 dozen (they lie)

I usually cook mine for a little longer, closer to about 12 minutes.  You have to let them firm up and cool, otherwise you will just be eating hot peanut butter. Which is pretty good too.

I like them because they are super easy, and every pantry has these things.  No store!  SCORE!

So, now that you are done- peacock?

Let's Recap-

These are backwards, starting from his THIRD, and last birthday party...

My mom came down with my brother to see me!  Ok, ok, really just for Oliver.

You got me.

After a HUGE BBQ, he got to pick out his own ice cream cake.  He wanted to pop the balloons.

This was his second birthday party.  It was just a boring little ole house party with the 'rents.

He was stoked, especially since this was the second time in one day he got to have cupcakes.  We made three dozen homemade rainbow cupcakes for his class that day.  And we crafted up some thank you cards for his BFFS that came to his partay.

This was the after math of his first party at Nanny Robins.

Holy Cow!  After his presents, she got him his very own cake!

Alas, the party that started it all (well, not really that was mom and pop!).  His Nanny threw him a party at a place here in town that has everything a toddler could want in a party.  And everything a parent could want too!  Which meant, they did everything for us!

I think that Oliver has just had a birthday party for every member in his immediate family!  We will all be forced to forfeit our own birthdays out of sheer over celebration!

But they are only young once right?!  And if it weren't for nannies, the world would be a terrible terrible place.

So what else- I am so behind on my blog, and I am so sorry.  I know I said I had a giveaway last week, BUT......drumroll please-  I am working on another site!  Yes mam, a review/giveaway site.  So I stocking up on the posts as we speak and I am so excited for it!  I can't wait for everyone to see it so I can give away all these goodies!  I am reviewing so many awesome things, and I can't wait to share them with you.

Mother's day went well...dirty dish extravaganza and all (I LOVE YOU HONEY)....finals are almost over.  I have one more to go, tomorrow, and then this semester is wrapped up for me.

I have some copy editing work lined up for the summer, and some research work, which will keep my brain busy so I don't get stuck on diapers and choo choos.

AND....Cory and I have some serious decision making to do in the near future...about a few things....but for now, I am day dreaming about it and doing my homework!

So kind of mundane, but at least now I feel caught up.  Now I can go on about my blogging.

Thanks for waiting for me-

xoxo,

J.Danger